Firms work hard, but nothing works
WORKING hard? You’d better be. We’re all beavering away like mad 24/7 if the world of corporate lingo is to be believed. Working hard and maybe playing hard. But the idea of “playing hard” sounds somewhat 1980s. So just working then. But hard.very hard indeed. Harder than everyone else. I’ve lost count of the number of organisations desperate to tell you how hard they are working.
Sainsbury’s is the latest, because they put out an advert that hit the wrong note. There was a poster for a £24 dress which said that the frock was suitable “for walks in the park or strolls after dark”.
My only objection would be that in this weather you’d probably want to slip a coat over the top. But social media went ballistic, complaining the advert made light of the dangers women face if they go outside after dark.
Oh purleeese... The mental agility of those desperate to find offence never ceases to amaze me.
It isn’t the greatest ad, but if you want something that rhymes snappily with park, then dark is easier than aardvark or Bismarck.
An advert writer’s life isn’t all martinis and fourhour lunches you know.
It certainly isn’t at the moment because Sainsbury’s duly axed the poster and promised, “we’ll work hard with our agency partner to ensure this doesn’t happen again”. How about
“For (accompanied) walks in the park and meetings with your loan shark”?
That one’s on me, guys.
Other hard workers include the Royal Mail which told people to stop sending mail abroad because of some cyber issue. But it’s
“working hard” to fix it, you’ll be pleased to hear.
The water was cut off at
Yealmpton in Devon the other day. But happily, says
South West Water, “our teams have worked hard”.
Good to know. Heaven forbid the staff just rolled into work and said, “no water, eh?”, before scratching their heads and going for a coffee.
They’re also working jolly hard at the World Economic Forum in Davos. Ursula von der Leyen, the European Commission president announced some baffling initiative which “will provide a structural solution to boost the resources available for upstream research, innovation and strategic industrial projects key to reaching net zero”.
Don’t worry if you don’t understand any of that because Ursula added to “support this, we are currently working hard on a needs assessment”. Praise be.
We’re all working hard you see.
Everyone goes the extra mile, puts in 110 per cent, burns the midnight oil and grasps that nettle.
Which leaves one wondering why, with all this hard work, nothing seems to work very well?
THE LAST time that I ordered a pub lunch (fish and chips), the fish was the size of a battered aircraft carrier.
A Ploughman’s involved an entire loaf of bread and a slab of cheese which would feed a family for a week. Far too much.
That’s why I always find myself looking enviously at the child’s menu where portions seem about right.
The Campaign for Pubs says that the cost-of-living crisis is forcing pubs to trim their menus and serve smaller portions. In recent years food portions have expanded in line with people’s waistlines.
A bit of retrenchment would be no bad thing.