PRINCE’S KIND WORDS FOR MARATHON MUM RHIAN
ALL parents want to know their kids will be OK – but that assurance doesn’t always come from a future king.
Rhian Burke is an inspirational fundraiser who turned her own horrific tragedy into a charity which has helped hundreds of bereaved families.
Rhian, who lost her baby son and husband within five days of each other, met Prince William during the filming of a BBC documentary about people using training for the London Marathon to help their mental health.
Her son George had been playing at home when he suddenly collapsed. Doctors were unable to save him. Five days later Rhian’s husband Paul took his own life. He was later diagnosed as suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Rhian too has had PTSD and anxiety as a result of losing “her boys”. Since their deaths she has set up the 2 Wish Upon a Star charity to help other bereaved families.
As part of the programme, she met Prince William, his brother Harry and wife Catherine. The Royal trio are working on a campaign to encourage people to talk about their mental health.
During the programme Rhian, who has two other children, got a “pretty incredible” one-to-one with Prince William. Rhian told him that when she lost her son “life was just over”.
She asked him about his own experience of losing his mother and asked: “They’ll be OK, won’t they?”
He replied: “They’ll be absolutely fine. With a mum like you, they’ll be absolutely fine, I promise it’s true. The fact you’re aware of all this, you’re already a step ahead of what could happen. You try and understand your emotions a lot more than probably someone who has just lived life without any issues.
“I think that’s quite critical. It’s explaining to them what those emotions mean and why they feel like they do. Once you start rationalising it a little bit, say you’re really angry, or a little bit down or really upset then you can relativise it and deal with it.”
The Prince said: “The shock is the biggest thing. I still feel 20 years later about my mother I still have shock within me. People go ‘shock can’t last that long’ but it does, you never get over it. It’s such an unbelievably big moment in your life that it never leaves you.
“You just learn to deal with it and you being there for that boy is the most important thing because you’ll provide that blanket of stability and understanding that they need. I can’t tell you enough that doing this is an incredibly positive step. I really hope it brings you what you need”.
Rhian, from Miskin, Pontyclun, said she was spurred on after watching her own charity’s fundraisers completing races and thought it could help with her ever present symptoms.
“I had never suffered with anything like this,” she said. “I was very chatty and happy go lucky but when I lost the boys it took me months to leave the house and a year to drive a car. I suffered from flashbacks and was constantly worried. I never wanted to see anyone.”
It isn’t over, and she can’t predict when it will come back.
“There are triggers and it can be a piece of music or a smell,” said Rhian.
She says running gives her something else to think about.
“It just gives you another focus. I don’t do anything for myself,” she said.
“For the last five years, from the day I lost the boys, I have been running from my problems but now I am running towards a better future. They will always be the wind beneath my wings and will always be the people I think about but when I run I feel I am thinking positive things. I do it to make them proud and I hope when I cross the finish line they will be looking down at me and will be proud of me.
“For the last five years I thought about them day in and day out but when I am running I am thinking about where my life will go in the future.”
As part of the programme she took part in boot camps with the others featured, but she also went running with friends and when her symptoms were gruelling, she went alone.
She has the usual mix of nerves and excitement about Sunday’s run.
“It’s a complete mix of emotions, one minute I’m excited and the next minute my stomach drops,” she said.
“They say you should rest in the week before, but I’m not sleeping. But I know it’s going to be an amazing experience”.
Mind Over Marathon is on BBC One tonight at 9pm. A second episode will air next Thursday.
To sponsor Rhian, visit uk.virginmoneygiving.com/rhianBurke