The poster boy for lonely singletons
Imagine asking for a date on a 20ft billboard. Mark Rofe did — and he’s had 2,000 applicants from across the world. Now read an uproarious encounter with...
LOVe, as we all know, can be a tentative, tantalising, transitory thing. it can spark from a chance meeting in the street, flare up in a supermarket aisle, in a bar, at work, in clubs, at parties, on blind dates, or through myriad dating apps that dominate 21st-century society.
But not, sadly, if you’re 30-year-old Mark Rofe.
‘i’m surprised at how little success i’ve had, i really am,’ he says. ‘i’m not fussy — i’m very open-minded and i don’t even have a “type”.’
Over the past year or so, Mark has had just three dates, including (he thinks) one kiss, but it was so long ago he can barely remember.
Which is presumably why, last month, he resorted to desperate measures and paid £425 to have a massive red 20ft by 10ft billboard erected on one of Manchester’s busiest streets advertising his ‘wares’.
And why today, as the traffic whizzes past on Fairfield Street in the city centre, there is Mark, in his designer sunglasses, reclining on one elbow, left leg cocked — with the question: ‘Single? Date Mark. This could be the sign you’ve been waiting for.’ There’s also a link to his website, Dating
Mark.co.uk, in which he describes himself as ‘extremely handsome and modest’ and where ‘applicants’ can register their interest in becoming his partner.
‘i’d never hired a billboard before and i was a bit shocked when i first saw it,’ he says. ‘it’s a lot bigger than i’d expected.’
it is certainly eye-catching and, unsurprisingly, has caused quite a reaction.
So far, Mark has already received more than 2,000 ‘applications’ from potential candidates. ‘They’ve come from pretty much everywhere — Uganda, Australia, the States, nigeria, Brazil, France, Germany and Spain!’ he says. And an awful lot are from men. One chap from Shenzhen in china writes: ‘i give you pleasure and many moneys. i own big shoe company.’
‘i maybe should have made it clearer on my website,’ says Mark. ‘To start with, more than half were men. it’s very flattering, but... ’
Of the ladies, some applicants are gently suggestive, others are overt. Some attach nude snaps, a smattering are in their undies and quite a few are from married women who thought they may as well try their luck.
BUT most are warm, enthusiastic and, well, pretty darned keen to meet Mark, who, in the flesh outside his office in Sheffield, seems a rather unlikely Romeo. His eyes are bloodshot, his chin stubbly, his face pale — and he looks completely knackered. ‘i haven’t slept for days!’ he says. ‘it’s all rather taken off.’
As well as all those applications to fish through, his story has gone viral.
Mark and his billboard have been featured on TV news shows in Australia and new Zealand. He’s been offered free holidays, nights out, nights in, a job in the adult entertainment industry, a night out on the pull with a former contestant on The Apprentice and a role on channel 4 programme naked Attraction.
A psychic called Helen has even assured him that the love of his life will have brown hair, work in administration and have an ‘A’ in her initials.
On his website’s ‘love cV’, he states he has ‘kissed more than three girls’.
Today, under questioning from me, he admits he had his first kiss when he was 15 and since has had two long-term relationships. One at university (with a girl from Austria) and another that finished over a year ago — despite him following her to Dubai.
‘She finished it. it had run its course, but i was very upset,’ he says. ‘How could i not be? it’s natural, we spent a lot of time together.’
His mother Helen — who is also single, describes herself as ‘a young 60’ and works in a joke shop in Surrey — puts it down to him being far too fussy, just like her, when we speak later, by telephone.
But Mark says he doesn’t have an ‘ideal woman’, though he did once have a poster of christina Aguilera on his bedroom wall and admits he would give the pop superstar ‘a bit of a queuejump’ if she applied.
He also insists he really is open to anyone, from anywhere, or any religion, so long as they can have a relationship ‘where someone adds something to your life, and you add to theirs and you both make each other better and happier people’.
Oh yes, and they must also be attractive and intelligent and get on with his best mate Josh Taylor, 29, and share what he describes as his ‘best asset’ — his unique sense of humour. Which, sadly, is not to everyone’s taste.
During a similarly long, dry single stretch in his mid-20s,
Mark tried humour on his Tinder dating profile, drawing a sixpack with a felt-tip pen onto his not-very-muscular naked torso, taking a photo in the bathroom mirror and using it as his profile picture.
‘i thought it was funny and it would be a talking point,’ he explains. So, did it work? ‘no. not at all,’ he says. More recently, he changed his profile picture to another of him holding a book entitled, How To Get Girls To Swipe Right [prospective partners on
dating apps swipe right to indicate ‘Yes please’, and left to signal ‘No, thanks’.] That didn’t attract the ladies, either.
‘He’s really keen to meet someone,’ says Josh. ‘But it just never seems to happen.’
Mark puts it down to too much choice. ‘I have tried my best, I really have. But the hardest thing is getting someone to “match” me,’ he says. ‘They probably think there’s someone better just one swipe away.’
Since then, as well as Tinder, he’s tried Bumble and Hinge, but with precious little joy.
‘I think all the swiping can dehumanise the process a bit,’ he says. ‘You forget there’s a real person on the other end because you’re basing it all on their photos, rather than their personality or sense of humour.’
So he’s not been able to wow the ladies close up with his quirky jokes against himself. Or to whip up his signature Thai curry for a cosy night in on the sofa in front of one of his favourite true-life documentaries (‘Did you see the brilliant one about the cat killers?’).
Or even to tell them that, one day — but not yet — he’d like to get married and have two children and to live in an old, detached house with an open fire, either cats or dogs (or both) in the countryside, but near a city and keep bees in the garden, even though he knows nothing at all about bees.
Admittedly, he is not your man if animated debates about politics are your thing. He is 30 but has never voted — though he insists he’s ‘got more interested since the Brexit thing’.
Similarly, if you’re looking for a great literary mind. ‘I love reading!’ he says. ‘I read Twitter all the time. And marketing books.’
He does not ski, run marathons, enjoy extreme sports or go to the gym (‘I hate the gym’) and suspects he might struggle with someone who did.
But on the upside, he has savings, loves football, has no known allergies and cannot abide cruelty towards animals.
He also looks clean, smells very nice of Chanel Bleu and tells me he changes his sheets every fortnight — then immediately worries about it not being often enough.
‘Is that normal? Should I change them more?’
His mother, for one, can’t understand why he hasn’t been snapped up already. ‘He’s very caring, he’s generous, loving, intelligent and funny,’ she says. ‘I’m just surprised he hasn’t met anyone yet.’
But he hasn’t. So, as his mates have paired off, one by one, Mark has busied himself with football, nights out in the pub with Josh, and the occasional romantic approach with minimal success.
‘Josh has more luck with the girls than me. He’s my last single mate. I wouldn’t want him to go before me. I try not to think about that. I’m a bit more reserved.’
Which is a shame, because he insists he’s a gentleman who is always happy to open doors, treat the right girl to dinners and romantic mini-breaks, and would love to go to the cinema more and on holiday with someone other than Josh.
‘We went on holiday together three times last year!’ he said.
It was on one of his pub nights with Josh that he came up with the billboard idea and then, to everyone’s surprise, went through with it the next day.
He brokered a discount with a billboard company, used a photo Josh had taken of him last summer and spent the weekend designing his own poster and website — he works in marketing, so he knows what he’s doing.
‘I didn’t want to come across as a desperate loser, so I tried to make it a bit funny so that, at worst, I would hopefully come across as a funny desperate loser,’ he explains.
The original plan was to put up more billboards. He even started a crowdfunding appeal on his website to raise money for the next one.
‘So far, I’ve only got £109, so I’m not sure there will be another one,’ he says.
NOT that he needs one now. He’s swimming in potential partners — some of whom look rather promising. ‘Look at this one!’ he beams, showing me a phone text from a hot blonde fox who wants to boost his snog tally.
Below are dozens more messages. ‘If you’re in Istanbul, please swing by,’ writes a striking brunette.
‘Hi Mark, I come from Czech Republic and am mother of three kids and I work as a nurse in a hospital in Germany. I am 100 per cent optimist,’ says another.
One applies on behalf of her sister, Emily, a primary school teacher in South Wales with ‘a genuine caring heart and a lovely feminine side’.
There’s another from a pretty brunette in Belgium — ‘I’m getting almost as desperate as you after a year of horrible Tinder dates, so if you’re ever in Antwerp...’
A colleague of Mark tells me that half the office staff applied and that even her mum was tempted — ‘and she’s 60!’ Hundreds more have contacted him through his Twitter, Instagram and Facebook social media accounts.
And the common theme is that they’re nearly all positive. ‘Good on you, good luck, well done. You’ve put a smile on my face on a bad day.’
Mark is optimistic. ‘I’m pretty sure the love of my life is in there. At least I hope so,’ he says. ‘I’ve booked Valentine’s Day off work, just in case. But, if nothing else, it cheers people up, and that’s something.’
The only person more surprised than Mark at the reaction is Josh. ‘I was expecting to have to make lots of fake applications because I’d feel so sorry for him,’ Josh tells me. ‘But he’s had thousands. He’s gone from one problem of no dates to another of too many.’
And, quite frankly, it couldn’t have happened to a nicer, funnier, more self-deprecating chap. Just get those sheets in the wash pronto, Mark. Because soon you might actually need them.