ONE-WEEK INSOMNIA CURE

The concept of insomnia means different things to different people. For some it’s the irritation of waking up with hot sweats. For others it is a persistent difficulty dropping off, or lying awake in the early hours.

But for all too many, it is simply the crushing exhaustion of night after night of poor and unrefreshing sleep.

however it affects you, insomnia is deeply unpleasant and can be very unhealthy. even though it strikes as much as half the world’s population at some point, there is very little that modern medicine can do to help.

If you are very lucky you might be referred to a sleep specialist like me.

But there are very few centres in the UK, and most GPs are ill-equipped to know how to support patients with long-term insomnia.

The key is a form of ‘talking therapy’ called CBT-I, or cognitive behavioural therapy for insomnia, which has been created specifically to help people with insomnia. Studies have shown it can be extremely effective, but with huge waiting lists for an appointment with a specialist, it is very hard to get.

That’s why I have written a book, The One-Week Insomnia Cure, serialised all this week in the Mail.

If you follow my advice and make full use of the free sleep diary given away free in Saturday’s paper (if you missed your copy, call 0808 272 0808 or email your name and address to helpline@ dailymail.co.uk) you’ll be able to personalise your own sleep solution.

Yesterday I outlined the most likely causes of insomnia, helping you identify your risk. Today I’ll guide you through powerful steps to ending your insomnia for ever.

Self-induced sleep problems are bad enough, but if your perfectly good night’s rest is regularly shattered by your bed partner’s wriggling, duvet-hogging, snoring, early morning alarm or too-frequent trips to the lavatory, the frustration can be maddening.

As most couples spend nearly a third of their lives in bed, it is shocking how little time and attention ‘couples insomnia’ receives.

It can take a big chunk of tough love to realise that although the two of you might be compatible in many areas, you could be completely incompatible in bed — when it comes to sleep, anyway!

Any attempt to try to sort out insomnia must take a couple’s sleeping arrangements into consideration. But before you join the estimated 12per cent of married couples who sleep in separate bedrooms, rest assured there is much you can do to bring your sleep patterns closer into sync.

TRY ‘COUPLE TIME’

One of the greatest sources of incompatibility is when a morning person meets an evening person — and the character entrenchment of middle age accentuates the difference. It is very common for one of you to be a morning type (a ‘lark’) who likes to be up and active early, but tucked into bed just after (or even before) the 10 o’clock news, while the other is an ‘owl’ who can happily channel-hop until gone midnight, but loves a lie-in.

however, the lark/owl combination can create sleep disturbance, that becomes a form of insomnia.

If both of you go to bed early, the owl is very likely to find it difficult to fall asleep. This can lead to stress, anxiety and a long-standing difficulty getting off to sleep.

evening people tend to be at greater risk of developing insomnia, particularly if they struggle to sandwich a biological preference for going to bed late and getting up late with the demands of a highpressure job and an early alarm.

Studies show owls have a greater tendency for irregular sleep schedules, shorter sleep durations, less physical activity, increased alcohol, caffeine consumption and also smoking — so when it comes to vulnerability to insomnia, many have the full hand.

A good tip is to try establishing what I call ‘cuddle time’. It really can help, not only with sleep, but by extension, their relationship.

First the couple must decide on a set bedtime — it is often easier to set this by the morning-oriented person’s usual bedtime.

The evening person should join their partner in bed for a set time — 15 to 20 minutes seems to work best. For the evening-oriented person there should be no intention to sleep, just to be there.

When cuddle time is over, the owl can slip out of bed and get on with their evening, as long as they agree to creep into bed later in a way that won’t wake their sleeping partner.

GET A BIGGER BED

SOME sleep experts argue that couples who share an ordinary sized double bed are setting themselves up for sleep problems.

When one partner moves there is a 50per cent chance that the other will change position (without even realising) and if you share an ordinary double bed it gives you just 2ft 3in of bed each. even a king size bed (5ft wide) gives you 2ft 6in of wiggle room. But a superking — if you can afford it and find room for it — would provide 3ft each.

It might be worth considering pushing two single beds together — you can customise your side with your choice of mattress pad.

And some new double beds are constructed to dampen any movement from your partner so he or she doesn’t wake you by tossing and turning or getting out of bed.

DOUBLE-UP DUVETS

IF YOU share your bed — and your duvet —your unwitting nightly wrestles with the covers can affect the quality of your sleep.

Try switching your one big duvet for two smaller ones. Just ensure each duvet is one size larger than the space it needs to be.

For example, if you have a king size bed, consider having two double size duvets so you can ‘steal’ as much of your duvet as you want and cocoon yourself if necessary without leaving your partner out in the cold.

If you get too hot, you can throw off your duvet without waking your partner.

WORK AS A TEAM

IF YOU are keen to try this in a bid to end your insomnia, don’t think you’ll have a better chance of tackling the challenges if you move into the spare room. If you start there, there’s every chance you’ll end up there.

Instead, work with your partner to maximise the chance of success.

From physical support (buying fruit teas to replace coffee), to emotional support (telling them how well they are doing, how much better their moods have been), even small things make a big impact.