Keep your paws off my prime time, Whitto

Yes, there are some things wrong with the BBC. But surely even the Corporation’s harshest critics must realise that imposing a non-compete clause on their programming output is just ridiculous.

In his White Paper on the BBC charter renewal, Culture secretary John Whittingdale is c onsidering al l owing c ommercial broadcasters to challenge the BBC over peak-time scheduling.

This means there would be no more clashes of big hitters, such as the annual saturday night ratings battle between BBC1’s strictly Come Dancing and ITV’s X Factor. so unfair! No one complained when the latter trounced the former for years, but now that strictly’s on a winning streak, is it to be punished?

There are millions of viewers who really, really want to see strictly on their screens on a winter saturday night — and I don’t think it is the job of this Government to tell them that they can’t.

The BBC has been accused of deliberately trying to damage the programmes of rival commercial broadcasters by putting its own hit shows against them in the schedules — but what are they supposed to do?

Continue their afternoon eternal loop of Bargain Hunt, Cash In The Attic, escape To The Country and Homes Under The Hammer long into the night? If so, kill me now. And given the vagaries of taste exhibited by the public, who can even predict which shows will be hits, anyway? The Great British Bake Off was originally watched by three grannies and a dog. It took a few years before it became the huge success it is today.

And sometimes, the poor old Beeb must compete with itself.

At £2 million per episode, Andrew Davies’s recent adaptation of War And Peace was one of the most costly dramas BBC2 ever made — yet it was beaten in the ratings every sunday night by BBC1’s Countryfile.

War And Peace had a cast of hundreds, glittering locations, a bear, galloping horses, tons of sex, battle scenes and James Norton in a frock coat, boots and tight britches, bitches. But it still couldn’t beat those everyday tales of farming folk, where the only rape featured was oilseed.

The BBC has to be free to field their best players in these prime slots. The Night Manager trumped Doctor Thorne because it was the superior drama. If ITV can’t compete on programme quality, then that is its problem, not the BBC’s.

Gosh, readers, if only someone clever would invent a way of recording one programme while watching another? Or perhaps ‘catching up’ on what they missed later. That would solve everything! Anyone got any ideas?