Chart of lust

Who we,re loving and living for this week...

1. New in THE GHOST OF ANTINOUS

Gay lover of Roman Emperor Hadrian, currently haunting Simon Cowell’s mansion (according to Simon Cowell). First time for a ghost in COL! Big day.

2. Non-mover JOEL KINNAMAN

Previously of the American version of The Killing and the excellent Altered Carbon (Netflix), now doing strong work in the field of being easy on the eye, in Hanna (Amazon Prime, extremely good).

3. New in RAPPERS IN SUNHATS

One big thing on weekend one at Coachella. Jay Rock, A$AP Ferg and Schoolboy Q did amazing things for the big-brimmed straw hat world.

4. Up ARIANA GRANDE

Got a reputed $8m for Coachella, and got to do it* with NSYNC. We think this is what’s known in the trade as a ‘win/win situation’ (even without Justin Timberlake).

5. Up HOWARD DONALD

We never thought we’d give a monkeys about a car show, but there’s just something about C4’s Mission Ignition we really like...

6. Non-mover CARDI B V NICKI MINAJ

Feuding hard. Last week, Cardi was asked if she and Nicki might ever be on good enough terms to work together. She cackled – for 10 full seconds.

7. Up TUNA KUNT

Freshly elected leader of City University’s student union. A woman who says her name operates as ‘an amazing ice breaker’. We love her.

8. Non-mover TYLER THE CREATOR

Bringing new levels of authenticity to the game of boilersuit wearing. Extra points for the devil-maycare bike-wrangling.

9. New in TAYLOR SWIFT

She is counting down to something in pinks and pastels on her Instagram feed. What could it be? When will we know? (When the countdown ends, presumably.)

10. Down ULRIKA JONSSON

She’s done with lust. ‘The whole idea of looking for a partner is not even on the bottom of my agenda – it hasn’t even made my agenda,’ she announced, last week.