HOW WE FIND HEADSPACE
No matter how busy life is, it’s important to carve out some time for ourselves. Three women talk about the pastimes that give them energy and a fresh perspective
Three women on the pastimes that give them fresh perspective
The strains of the day disappear when I am around horses
‘Horses have become my therapy’ Mel Wood, 48, from Surrey, takes a break from her hectic life by going horse riding a couple of times a week.
One of my friends claims that when she calls me on my mobile phone, she can tell immediately if I’m at the stables. ‘You sound so much calmer than when you’re at home,’ she always says. She’s absolutely right. Being around horses has become my therapy.
My husband works for a global IT firm and is often overseas, so running the house tends to fall to me. Our elder daughter, Hannah, 14, rows at national level and trains five times a week, while her sister Amelia, nine, has more hobbies than I can count!
I also run my own business, Fidgetbum, selling a bed wrap that I designed as a sleeping aid for toddlers and children who have problems settling at night.
No matter how busy I am, I make sure I carve out time to ride at least twice a week. I share a beautiful bay-coloured horse called Mac, who lives in a field close to my home. I had my first riding lesson when I was five, and have loved horses ever since. Being around them brings out all the lovely endorphins, and
the strains of the day just disappear. Everything in my life moves so quickly, but when I’m with horses, it all slows right back down.
ESCAPING THE MAYHEM
Mac has a lovely, gentle temperament and feels like a true friend. Sometimes when I arrive, he’ll be resting on the far side of the pen, so I’ll run over to him across the meadows, gulping in the fresh countryside air and feeling a million miles away from the usual mayhem.
At the weekends, Hannah and Amelia often come with me to the stables to see the horses. I introduced them to riding lessons when they were little, just as I was when I began, because I know that bond with a horse can be very special. It’s wonderful for the three of us to spend some quality time together. I want to see my girls somewhere other than in the passenger seats of the car every now and then!
I’m hoping to be able to invest in a horse of my own one day and perhaps even train for competitions. But for now, riding is not for medals; it’s just for me.
‘I have adventures on my paddleboard’ After years of putting everyone else first, Jo Moseley, 54, from Yorkshire, now makes time for a thrilling new sport.
It was a choppy day at sea and I was kneeling on my paddleboard, swiping my hands through the water to propel myself along. Then a little voice in my head told me to be brave. Tentatively, I stood up and steadied myself as the board started to ride a wave and I sped towards the beach. I felt like I was flying! My sons, who were watching from the shore, didn’t realise that the person heading towards them was me.
Six years ago, I lost my beloved mum to cancer. My father was devastated and also has ongoing health problems, so I feel responsible for him as well as for my sons, Henry, 22, and Johnny, 18. I’ve found myself firmly rooted in the sandwich generation, juggling family responsibilities alongside my job as a practice manager for an engineering firm.
I knew I had to carve out some time for myself to avoid feeling overwhelmed. When I was a child, I would throw myself into the sea at every opportunity. In my 20s, I did some snorkelling and diving, and always had the idea of surfing in the back of my mind, but thought it was something for cool, sporty people and not really for me. Then, in 2016, a friend booked me a paddleboarding lesson, which seemed like the next best thing.
MINI ADVENTURE
I took the lesson on a lake as part of a group of five. An instructor taught us the basics, but it was tricky and I fell off a few times. By the end, though,
I felt like I’d had my own mini adventure. When I saw a photo of myself on the paddleboard with a huge smile on my face, I thought, ‘Wow, I’ve found something I truly enjoy.’
My family bought me a board for my birthday and I took it straight out. It was a crisp afternoon, but the sky was bright blue as I pushed the board out on to the water. From then on, I was hooked.
My dad lives on the coast, and whenever I visit him, I take my wetsuit so I can escape for a bit and throw myself into the North Sea. I love paddling into the bay and visiting beaches that are tucked out of the way. Even if I just go out for a gentle drift, I find the effect so calming that any problems I might have left with have evaporated by the time I return home. There’s something special about being on the water: the tranquillity is like nothing else in the world.
CANAL CHALLENGE
Living further inland, my closest reaches of water are the maze of local canals and wide-open reservoirs. I now paddleboard three times a week and love the variety. On the sea, I have to contend with waves, but canals are a labyrinth of locks and bridges that keep me on my toes. Over the weekend, I can be out for seven hours at a time, but even half an hour on the board does me the world of good.
Over the last four years, my balance has improved, my core has become stronger and my stiff, ‘frozen’ shoulder has almost healed. But it’s my self-belief that has undergone the biggest transformation, as I’ve found a new purpose beyond my responsibilities. This summer, I’ve challenged myself to paddleboard the waterways of the north of England, from Liverpool to Goole. I’ll be out for eight hours at a time for up to 11 days. I couldn’t be more excited about the adventure!
I find it so calming. Any problems evaporate
‘Walking has given me a great health kick’ Sally Fielding, 44, has found her escape by exploring the wonderful scenery on her doorstep in the Lake District.
Pausing in the woods, surrounded by wild bluebells in full bloom, I took a deep breath. It was early morning and I’d left my family fast asleep at home. After an hour walking on my own, I came back feeling calm and grateful, and ready to start my busy day.
I have worked hard over the past 16 years developing Sally’s Cottages, my holiday letting business. At the start, it was just me and my husband, Robert, working from home. Now we have an office with 23 staff and bookings of £8m a year. I’m proud of what we’ve achieved, along with raising our children, Bruno, 12, Daisy, 10, and nine-year-old Julia.
But focusing on our family and business took its toll. It was only after I turned 40 that I admitted I’d been neglecting my health. I promised myself I would exercise more, but wasn’t sure what to do; I’ve never enjoyed running, and going to the gym didn’t appeal, either.
Then one day, a friend mentioned how walking for 20 minutes can work off the calories from a slice of bread. Something clicked, and I realised that even a little movement could make a real difference.
That’s when I decided to make the most of being surrounded by beautiful countryside: I just opened my front door and started to walk.
ENERGY BOOSTER
Initially, I was walking to get fitter and lose weight, and it worked: within six months, I had lost 15kg. But I soon discovered the benefits went far beyond how I looked. The really important thing is that walking makes me feel so energetic. I just want to shout, ‘Here
I am, I’m going to do it!’ Being active makes me feel good about myself.
Now I walk for an hour at least once a day, covering about four miles in that time. By the end of the week, I’ve usually completed about 11 walks. I go on my own or meet friends at lunchtime to have a stroll with their dogs. At weekends, it’s time to get the kids involved and we go exploring on mini adventures, hunting in the fields or trekking around the lakes.
My favourite time to go walking, especially on my own, is in the evening. In summer, the light lingers for longer, while the autumn dusk is perfect for delving a little deeper into my thoughts. Gaining that headspace away from the everyday chaos is so important to me.
One of the best things about walking is how much time it saves compared with other types of exercise. I can step outside and start walking; I don’t have to get into the car or head to a gym.
Walking has given me a health kick and allows me to reflect on things and let go of my worries, but there’s also the sense of achievement. There’s nothing like reaching the top of Blencathra mountain with three kids in tow and enjoying my packet of crisps with the view!
I come home feeling calm and grateful