Who are the greatest Star Wars characters of all time?
Empire’s CHRIS HEWITT and HELEN O’HARA enter the debate
WHY DO WE love Star Wars? It’s not just the spaceships and the laser swords and the spectacle. For Empire, the reason why we keep going back to that galaxy far, far away is the characters. In the Star Wars universe, all human (and alien) life is here. Wookiees, smugglers, bounty hunters, giant monsters that will rip your arm off — all manner of heroes and villains. And so, to celebrate the Star Wars Collection on Sky Cinema, two of Empire’s staunchest Star Wars fans got together to talk about their favourite characters from the Star Wars saga. And remember — whatever mood you’re in, Sky Cinema has a movie for it. In particular, a Star Wars movie for it. CHRIS: So, then. Our favourite Star Wars characters, Helen. I have to say, in at number one with a laser bullet for me is Chewbacca.
HELEN: Not Han, Luke, or Leia?
CHRIS: Nope. Humans, schumans. Even as a kid, I identified most with the walking carpet. Chewie is noble, fiercely loyal (with the emphasis heavily on fierce), and confident enough to walk around almost entirely nude, save for that bandolier. Without him, the Rebels wouldn’t blow up the first Death Star. And what does he get? Nothing, not even a medal. I’m still angry.
HELEN: For me, it has to Princess Leia.
Calm, cool, collected and quick to rescue her rescuers when they run into trouble, Leia became my heroine-for-life at the age of five and remains in post. Over the years she’s shown an aptitude for action and a head for strategy, but even in her introduction in the first Star Wars, standing up to Darth Vader, she was perfect.
CHRIS: Good choice. Speaking of Vader, my next selection is from The Empire Strikes Back.
HELEN: Ugh. Not Vader? So predictable.
CHRIS: No. Captain Piett.
HELEN: You’re an idiot.
CHRIS: The Empire Strikes Back is all about underlings disappointing the great Lord Vader, many of them to fatal effect. There’s a moment at the end of Empire where, having failed Vader miserably, Captain Piett steels himself, and possibly soils himself, waiting for the inevitable. It never comes. As a man who has been promoted way past his actual abilities, I can absolutely relate.
HELEN: Han Solo for me. His slow-burning love story with Leia is a stand-out, and his capacity to run from disaster to worse disaster is strangely adorable. After all, he sometimes
manages to save the day anyway. Sometimes. CHRIS: Up next is Darth Vader’s boss.
HELEN: What is it with you and people who work with Darth Vader?
CHRIS: Keeping the Empire end up. So I’ve gone for The Emperor. Forget Vader. Until Ian Mcdiarmid turned up in Jedi, rocking a cackle that wouldn’t be out of place in an end-of-pier panto, we hadn’t seen true evil in a Star Wars
movie. So powerful he gives Vader pause, so evil he could be in the GOP, the Emperor is a chilling, mocking presence.
HELEN: Well, as a tiny child I thought the Ewoks were the best thing ever.
CHRIS: The Emperor would eat an Ewok for breakfast. And wash it down with Porg juice. HELEN: I wished that Warwick Davis’ Wicket was my BFF and I was thrilled when they took down the Imperial troops. It is still my firm belief that anyone who claims they didn’t love Ewoks as a kid is a big, fat liar.
CHRIS: I have to say, I did. I had almost all of the toys. Even Logray and Chief Chirpa.
HELEN: Ah, gotta love Chief Chirpa. And I have to say that I do have a soft spot for The Emperor. Or, at least, Chancellor Palpatine in Attack Of The Clones. Let’s be honest: the good guys are a mess in this film, while Palpatine romps to victory, tossing aside challenges from Mace Windu and even Yoda himself. He keeps his apprentice and his plans on track with Thanoslike determination and succeeds in holding power for a generation.
CHRIS: I’m usually not allowed to talk about Attack Of The Clones, but I love Elan Sleazebaggano. You know, the thinly disguised walking PSA — hey kids, don’t smoke! — this Coruscant scumbucket tries to sell death sticks to Obi-wan Kenobi in a deadbeat dive, only to have his life turned around via Jedi mind trick. He also has possibly the stupidest name in Star Wars
history, which is something of an achievement. HELEN: Nope. The single best thing in this film was seeing tiny Jedi master Yoda unleash hell on his looming Sith opponent. Yoda with a lightsaber! Yoda casually chucking giant metal objects at Count Dooku! It was potent enough that it hypnotised us into giving the film a pass on the first watch.
CHRIS: I don’t know what you mean. Hey, what about some of the newer characters?
HELEN: Kylo Ren for me.
CHRIS: What was that you said about me being obsessed with Vader? He’s a Vader fanboy! HELEN: A lot of people came around after The Last Jedi, but for the record I was on the Kylo Ren train all along. He’s a preening, insecure, terrifyingly powerful mess of a man and a riveting bad guy.
CHRIS: He wears his trousers far too high.
HELEN: Then there’s Vice Admiral Holdo from The Last Jedi. Laura Dern’s work as Holdo upended 40 years of Star Wars history. We’re so used to maverick hot-shots being proved right that we’re inclined to trust Poe Dameron’s wariness of her. But Holdo was not an ally of General Leia’s for nothing, and she quietly manages to get Dameron back in line, before sacrificing herself for the cause. What about you?
CHRIS: Luke Skywalker.
HELEN: Ha.
CHRIS: No, I mean it. In The Last Jedi, it’s a very different Luke. It’s not the years, it’s the mileage. Well, maybe it’s both. In The Last Jedi, Mark Hamill properly returned to his signature role and introduced us to a grizzled Skywalker a country mile away from the mewling milquetoast we met back in A New Hope. That this interpretation pissed off whingeing manbabies made it somehow even sweeter. Then there’s Liam Neeson as Qui-gon Jinn in The Phantom Menace…
HELEN: And Donald Glover as a young Lando Calrissian in Solo: A Star Wars Story. It’s simply not possible to ignore such stunning taste in capes. CHRIS: If we’re talking Solo: A Star Wars Story, then…
HELEN: Don’t do it.
CHRIS: I’d have to say Chewbacca.
HELEN: You can’t say Chewbacca again.
CHRIS: But this is a different Chewie. Younger, more optimistic. Still happy to rock it fully nude, though.
HELEN: You’re a monster.
TO HEAR CHRIS AND HELEN JUSTIFY THEIR CHOICES, AND ALEX ZANE AND DAVE BERRY WEIGH IN WITH THEIRS, CHECK OUT ‘THE GREATEST: STAR WARS CHARACTERS’ EMPIRE PODCAST, IN ASSOCIATION WITH SKY CINEMA, FROM 5 SEPTEMBER