WILL PAL BE UPSET IF I DATE HER EX?

Dear Coleen

I’M a girl in my 20s and during lockdown I became close to a good friend’s ex-boyfriend.

It started off just as friendly chats and video calls, as we’ve always got along well, but then it became flirty and now he’s thrown out the idea of us dating.

I am attracted to him and think we’d be a good couple, and I’d love to find out where it goes. However, my friend hates him because he split up with her and she feels angry and hard done by.

I’m worried she’s going to go nuts if we date and I’m pretty sure it’ll affect the friendship with her. What do you think? It’s early days, but I do like this guy.

Coleen says

YOU don’t say how long ago their break-up was. If it was recent, it might mean your friendship is over or at least it won’t be the same as it was.

It’s an awkward and sensitive situation and I suppose she might feel you’re crossing a line or being disloyal to her in some way. She might even worry that the two of you liked each other when she was still with him.

It might be worth giving the relationship a bit more time to see if it’s worth risking the friendship over – if you can do that without her finding out. If you then feel things are serious, that might be the point to tell her. But the risk is, she might find out from someone else.

Even if she takes it well, she probably won’t want to talk about him or your relationship, and that might be weird if you’ve always shared everything.

But the bottom line is that she’s not with him any more and you and he are free to date whoever you want.