You are broken apart by grief but you come back tougher
Nick Cave opens up on death of two sons
ROCK star Nick Cave says he has built resilience to grief over the years after the death of two of his sons.
The dad of four lost Jethro, 31, a model, in May 2022 and Arthur, 15, who fell off a cliff in Brighton after taking LSD in 2015.
Asked about grief, Cave said: “It feels like that moves on, it doesn’t move on for me, in the sense it’s always there. But there’s a sort of resilience. I’ve really noticed this in Susie [his wife]. When you are broken apart, you come back tougher. When the worst happens, other things don’t feel as important any more.”
The Australian, known for his baritone voice and gothic rock band Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, told Mojo magazine how his 2017 tour helped him after the death of Arthur. Cave, 66, said: “It’s difficult to talk about this but there was a feeling I had never felt before – of stepping into a kind of outpouring of love.
“I think people had an enormous emotional commitment beyond the music. It was a very beautiful thing and completely unexpected and very helpful.”
Last month, Cave, also an author, said he wants his children to “grow into somewhat better versions” of himself.
He had son Luke, 32, with first wife Viviane Carneiro in 1991 then Jethro with Beau Lazenby. He also has Earl, 23, Arthur’s twin, with Susie, 57.
Jethro, who had schizophrenia, was found dead a week after being freed from jail.
Writing on his blog, The Red Hand Files, in which he responds to questions from fans, Cave said: “One of the enduring privileges of advanced parenthood is being able to abandon any attempt to live up to the impossible standards set by our children.
“Instead, we fall into our obsolescence. We are what we are and hope our children grow into somewhat better versions of ourselves. We have done our bit to improve the world and pray our children continue to do so.”