SCHOOL MUM’S TOXIC AND I FEEL TRAPPED

Dear Coleen

A few months ago I met this woman through my son’s school who seemed determined to be friends with me. The thing is, I’m growing to like her less and less.

At first I thought it was my issue so decided to give her the benefit of the doubt, but although things will be fine for a while, she’ll then do something really unkind.

I’ve seen her be extremely rude to staff in cafes (the first warning sign), then she was horrible to my son at her son’s party, shouting at him for something he didn’t do.

But she’s also really clingy and texts and emails me all the time. I think she’s anxious and stressed, hence the rudeness, but I’ve got enough going on right now without this. What do you think?

Coleen says

I think an option is to start distancing yourself from her.

When your kids are young you’re often thrown together with people you’d never normally be friends with but, just because your kids get on, doesn’t mean you will. And if you feel stressed or bullied by this woman, then put yourself first and move on from her.

Yes, her rudeness could be down to stress, but that’s for her to deal with and you don’t have to put up with it. Or why not call her out on it the next time she’s rude? You don’t have to make your point aggressively.

The thing is, she’s not a close friend and someone you have years of history with, so I don’t think it would seem strange if you took a step back.

You can be friendly and polite when you see her at school, but you don’t have to be best mates.