Let’s do this together

We’ve all heard of The Tiger Who Came to Tea. Well, I had the teenagers come to tea, and there wasn’t a crumb left in the house.

About eight of them from her class descended after school last week having been invited round by The Dark Lord, six of whom were staying for tea. It wasn’t ideal timing as I had to go out that evening for a few hours, which meant making them all meatballs in tomato and spaghetti, and leaving it for them to heat up while I was out.

The Dark Lord introduced me to them all as they passed me in the hall, kicking off their huge school shoes. “This is Chloe, Tanny, Olly, Becky, Sophie, Henry…, ” and so on.

Hello,” I said, “I’m Siobhan-y.”

They all chuckled politely – teenagers don’t like it when adults make jokes. It undermines their theory that we’re a boring sub-species.

While I was simultaneously cooking, putting away shopping, tidying up, feeding the animals, and making a pudding for my friend’s dinner party – all before having to leave at 5pm, I could detect a whiff of something sweet in the air that I just couldn’t place.

I walked around sniffing the house and garden, thinking I’d catch one of the little blighters doing something nefarious.

But they all looked innocent whenever I walked into one of the rooms.

It was only later, talking to one of my mum chums at dinner, she said, “Oh that’s the smell from vaping. I can always tell when one of my teens has changed from pineapple flavour to blackberry. They always say it’s their deodorant, but they’re talking to someone who used to suck Polo Mints to hide the smell of B&H on my breath from teachers!”

When I got back at 9.30ish to make sure The Dark Lord got to bed on time for school, I walked into a scene of total devastation, and the fridge emptied of anything remotely edible. Apart from the vegetables, of course.

I stuck my head round TDL’S bedroom door, “What happened to the kitchen? Did a pack of wild animals come round?”

“Sorry, Mum, we were still hungry,” she apologised. “So I made everyone my new mash-up dish of fried eggs, Chinese noodles and baked beans.”

I made a face, and said, “Sounds delicious. You must give me your recipe.”

Email me at siobhan.mcnally@mirror.co.uk or write to Community Corner, PO Box 791, Winchester SO23 3RP.