Ephraim Hardcastle

THE Duchess of Cambridge’s pregnancy means the Duke of Edinburgh, 91, faces the daunting prospect of becoming a greatgrandfather again. How will that make the old curmudgeon feel? Prince Philip’s friend and biographer Gyles Brandreth tells me: ‘Oh, he’ll be absolutely delighted, though he told me he was a bit baffled recently when a German reporter asked him about his 18 illegitimate children. He’d meant to say 18 godchildren.’ WHO said the expenses scandal is over? I gather that two ex-Labour MPs still owe the House of Commons around £10,000 for over-claiming on their mortgage allowances – almost three years after first being asked to repay the cash. ExStrathkelvin MP John Lyons has an outstanding debt of £9,114.50. And Helen Clark, Peterborough MP for eight years under Tony Blair, still owes £1,150.12 to the public purse. A Commons spokesman tells me a repayment plan is in place. Shouldn’t they be charged interest? BEFORE Prince Charles departed on his recent visit to Australia, he consulted saucy Ozborn novelist Kathy Lette for advice on how to speak to locals. Did he heed any of her advice? Kathy, 54, pictured, tells me: ‘I was pleased to see that he used my suggestion “one sausage short of a barbie” to describe his jetlag. But I wasn’t surprised he didn’t refer, as I suggested, to Sydney’s gay community as “vagina decliners”.’ Let’s hope Kathy’s wise counsel doesn’t go unrewarded. SAD to hear that Hollywood legend Paul Newman’s five daughters are squabbling over their father’s fortune. When Newman died in 2008 aged 83, the siblings – who range in age from 47 to 59 – each received $5million. The bulk of the estate was left to the actor’s wife Joanne Woodward. But with Woodward now said to be suffering from Alzheimer’s, they are concerned she will leave it all to charity and are considering legal action. Isn’t it tragic how vast wealth is so often a curse? UNLIKE many of his pious contemporaries, The Who guitarist Pete Townshend is no wishywashy liberal. He says: ‘I try and stay away from American politics because I’m a bit of a neocon. I like the idea of America as the world’s police force. Then we don’t have to do it. You guys sort it out.’ Townshend, 67, pictured, refused leftwing filmmaker Michael Moore permission to use his song ‘Won’t Get Fooled Again’ in his 2004 antiGeorge Bush documentary, Fahrenheit 9/11, citing Moore as a ‘bully’. THE face of X Factor creator Simon Cowell is to join the hated visages of Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein as a target at Las Vegas’s Machine Guns shooting gallery. Another feather in Simon’s cap?