Drinking: is now the time to take control?
Lockdown saw a surge in the nation’s alcohol consumption. Here two women share how teaming up allowed them to cut back for good
If you’ve been hitting the bottle since lockdown began in March last year, you are not alone. Statistics from advice charity Drinkaware show more than a fifth of people – around 11.7 million – are drinking more alcohol than normal.
Reasons people have given include boredom and having more free time.
But while the occasional tipple won’t do us harm, problems can develop if that cheeky glass of wine becomes a habit.
The NHS advises no more than 14 units per week for adults. There are 1.5 units in a small glass of wine, and at least two in a can of beer.
Friends Lesley Miller and Cate Kell-Clarke always enjoyed a drink.
But when the stress of the pandemic caused their boozing to spiral they teamed up to tackle their drinking together.
Here they share how moderation is the magic formula.
I FEARED NOT SEEING MY SON GROW UP Former assistant head teacher Lesley Miller, 44, lives in Middlesex with her 10-year-old son
When I was young, I was the ultimate party girl. After marrying a rock musician in my 20s, life was wild – you’d find me downing shots and dancing on the bar.
But by the time I hit my 30s, my relationship with alcohol had changed. Divorced and struggling with anxiety, it had become my prop.
Every morning I’d experience excruciating paranoia, and I couldn’t understand why booze had such a hold over me.
It was endless and exhausting, and slowly destroyed my confidence.
I don’t know whether I was an alcoholic, but I certainly didn’t look like one. I was a devoted mother and dedicated teacher.
From the outside my life looked fine.
Yet most nights I’d get through a bottle or two of wine. I’d get so drunk that I’d black out and be full of regret the next day.
Only my mum was brave enough to confront me about my drinking, warning me that I might not see my son grow up. I was horrified, and it tentatively set me on the path to changing my ways.
In January last year, stress led me to
resign from my job. And in March when the pandemic hit. I knew it could be a trigger for me.
So I decided to take control, and help other people manage their drinking too. I threw myself into research and set up Alcohol Reconsidered, an educational programme to support people with drinking problems.
When my former colleague Cate admitted that she was struggling too, I invited her to work with me.
The more I learnt about booze, the less I felt to blame.
Alcohol is a potent drug that governments across the world have done little to control. Addiction can be hardwired into our DNA and there was a history of alcoholism in my family.
Planning has been the most effective strategy for me. Each week, I sit down and think about how much I will drink. I have three rules: no shots, no more than three drinks at a time, and only drink for fun.
I know exactly why I want to moderate – I want to improve my mental health and make the most of my time with my son.
I’ve had the odd slip-up, but I don’t let them hold me back.
Drink no longer controls my life, it’s something to be enjoyed – and this shift in mindset means I’m the happiest I’ve been in years.
DRINK MASKED MY FEELINGS Former primary school teacher Cate Kell-Clarke, 57, lives in Hertfordshire with her husband Martin, 59
Before the pandemic, my adult life was a bit of a love affair with alcohol and although I drank far too much, I never worried about it. Quiet and shy, having a drink made me confident.
At 20, I left New Zealand to live in London, where I met Martin.
My first job was in a West End bar, and I loved the buzz, the banter and the endless booze. Over the next 30 years, Martin and I had the most amazing life – I taught as a teacher, and we lived in Auckland, Sydney,
Singapore and then the UK where we even had a stint running a pub.
But then in January last year, I moved back to Sydney to be close to our daughter. Martin was due to join me once he’d tied up some loose ends, but that never happened because the pandemic hit. As a Type 1 diabetic I was terrified and feared for my life.
Alone and afraid, I was soon on speed dial to the local wine delivery firm. Soon I was getting through a bottle and a half most nights.
Blotting out my feelings was the only way I could cope with the loneliness and fear. Lockdown meant I couldn’t even see my daughter.
Then last summer my mum died. Watching her funeral on a live feed was heartbreaking. Pouring myself glass after glass of wine, I’d never felt so miserable.
So when Lesley told me about Alcohol Reconsidered, I was intrigued. I knew my drinking was veering out of control, and I was terrified it would destroy my health.
Moderation was key. But changing my relationship with alcohol has been far easier than I expected.
The first thing I did was to stop ordering alcohol as part of our online shop. Now if I decide to drink, it’s more of an occasion with a homecooked meal and candles.
Alcohol is a drug and it takes time and effort to cut it back. To take my mind off it I spent time cooking and exercising. I’ve completed the couch to 5K and lost two stone. Now I only drink when I plan to, and I feel fantastic – healthy, fit, and in control.
● Alcohol Reconsidered, by Lesley Miller and Catheryn Kell-Clarke, is sold on Amazon for £9.99. For course details see alcoholreconsidered.com
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Planning is my strategy. Each week I sit down and think about what I’ll drink