Polite Charles is all ears
SOMETIMES I really don’t envy the Royal Family. I’d hate, for example, to have to attend the Royal Variety Performance. Not because it’s necessarily going to be dreadful from a content point of view but because these days the cameras are forever flicking back up to you in the royal box to gauge your reaction.
So if, for example, a comedian delivers an oh-so-cheeky royalthemed gag – the sort of thing which, once upon a time would have had him or her hauled straight off to the Tower, and in some cases probably still should – we’ll immediately be shown the royal guests’ response.
And needless to say, those royals are expected to be chuckling their socks off, taking it in the right spirit, being jolly good sports etc. What an absolute pain in the neck that must be.
If I were a royal person attending one of these shows, I’d consider it my prerogative to sit there stonyfaced the whole night long if I so choose and maybe even chuck the occasional rotten vegetable. But no doubt I’d be told that’s frowned upon these days.
So I have to say I pity poor Prince Charles, having had to attend WE ARE MOST AMUSED AND AMAZED (ITV, 8pm), recorded at the London Palladium a few weeks back. He clearly had very little choice in the matter, this evening of comedy and magic having been arranged entirely in his honour to celebrate his 70th birthday.
He could hardly have said: “Golly, one is awfully grateful but actually one would rather stay in and watch Holby City.”
The actual show itself, let me stress, is mostly good fun. Alexander Armstrong (right) and Ben Miller got back together to host it and guests such as magician Dynamo and comedian Omid Djalili, as you’ll see, were on fine form.
But whether we need these constant cutaways to Charles and Camilla, checking to make sure they’re still enjoying themselves, is debatable.
The worst example is during a clever, sweet, but in all honesty not very funny filmed contribution from Wallace and Gromit.
Superimposed upon it, in the bottom left-hand corner of the screen, is a little box labelled “Prince in picture”. Fortunately for the producers, HRH hasn’t chosen this moment to nip out for a choc ice.
Elsewhere, we’re down to just seven teams in LEGO MASTERS (C4, 8pm). But I guess that’s no big deal as we only had eight to begin with.
Their challenges this week include something called the Drop Test, for which each team has 1,000 bricks and one hour in which to create something they can then drop from a great height. The team whose bricks create “the most spectacular smash” will be the winner. I have absolutely no idea what this is for. “I want to see far-reaching, widespread, uniform destruction,” insists judge Fran Scott. “I don’t want to see two bricks that are still together.” Meanwhile, in MASTERCHEF: THE PROFESSIONALS (BBC2, 8pm) nobody has been asked to make Smash, spectacular or otherwise, but judge Monica Galetti does want “two very refined and delicate scotch eggs”.