Computers ruined customer service
FAR from being a technician, let alone a cyber geek, I have not a clue why British Airways went into IT meltdown some days ago. But there is one aspect of that disaster that is pretty much beyond dispute or challenge.
As soon as the computerised system went very much on the blink the human element went straight into headless chicken mode. It always does. We humans are supposed to be in charge of the computers, who are our servants. Actually the reverse is the case. The cyber world is now so much in charge that when it malfunctions the humans are clueless.
Every source is in agreement on this; as Terminal Five at Heathrow spun into chaos there was not a human displaying the tiniest smidgin of authority. The bewildered passengers were desperate for some figure, some desk, some phone extension to approach for information, reassurance, advice, an explanation as to what was going down or what they should do. Not a chance. The BA administrators simply vaporised behind their walls rather than face that abiding nightmare – the public. Forget the fact that our air fares, our taxes, our fees (willing or unwilling) pay for every mouthful they eat, those in charge of “admin” are simply getting more and more incompetent. It was not always so.
CERTAINLY well within my lifetime British administration was world famous. You want something organised, administered, run in an efficient, smooth manner? Call for the Brits. Calm and effective, we knew how to run things. And it was a worldwide reputation. It has certainly gone by now, as petty bureaucracy, form-filling and paperwork has ballooned.
Trying to get anything done seems to require hours on the phone or tapping at the computer keys. Messages are never passed on and the second call achieves yet another battery hen who has never heard of the one you spoke to 10 minutes ago so it all has to start again.
Everything you do not want or need is a compulsory condition, what you do want or need is forbidden short of jumping through a hundred hoops and vaulting a score of barriers. The simplest request or need elicits only a long list of conditions. Have you filled the appropriate form, the necessary questionnaire? Or you should “go online” – meaning stop bothering the jobsworth whose salary you pay.
It is not just local government, the quangocracy or any branch of the public sector. Big business absolutely does not want your wretched concerns coming down the phone line so why don’t you just go away, having paid your money (a lot of it?). What we are not told is that this screen of form-filling is petty officialdom’s way of refusing to admit that actually it cannot organise a family between two rabbits.
The more computerised, the slower the service. It now takes five working days to cash a cheque. Captain Mainwaring could do it at Walmington-on-Sea in two – with only a fountain pen and a ledger.
Back in the day Charles de Gaulle founded the French National School of Administration, the ENA. It was (and remains) a university for the star administrators of tomorrow. Now the top graduates, the “enarques”, run the country. You may be able to quote Homer and Virgil but can you ensure that cargo will be delivered to that warehouse on the promised day? In modern Britain, probably not.
Smooth, efficient administration is an art and needs study to master. Perhaps we should be training a young generation to make things happen on budget, on schedule and cease treating us – the public, the ultimate paymasters – as tiresome interrupters of their pointless screen-tapping.