Cash point

If checking your bank balance brings you out in a cold sweat, or a bill landing on your doormat is panic-inducing, ‘Zen Millionaire’ Ken Honda can help

Around two-thirds of UK adults say money has been a significant cause of stress during the pandemic, so if you’re panicking about your finances, rest assured you’re not the only one. But despite the uncertainty swirling around us, financial expert, podcaster and author of Happy Money: The Japanese Art Of Making Peace With Your Money Ken Honda (KenHonda.com) says money doesn’t have to equal stress. Here, he shares his best advice to feel more relaxed and comfortable around money.

SPOT PROBLEMS

Managing our finances during uncertain times can feel overwhelming, so Ken recommends trying to keep things straightforward and getting to the bottom of what’s causing you stress. “There are two main causes of financial angst: you’re either earning too little or spending too much. As long as you confront the issue and focus on either earning more or spending less, your situation will change – it has to. But if you allow either of these problems to continue, things will never begin to improve,” he says.

MAKE A PLAN

If you are in debt, come up with a plan to get yourself out of it. “Unless you have a plan, you will not ‘magically’ get out of debt one day. It’s like a maze – you have to know the real reason you got into debt to begin with and tackle it,” says Ken. Figure out the root cause: Is it that you don’t check your balance regularly enough, so often get in the red? Do you say yes to everything, regardless of budget? Do you spend when you’re stressed, then regret it? Or do you never bother getting refunds because it’s a faff?

Now change those behaviours. Need more advice? Citizens Advice (Citizensadvice.org.uk) or Stepchange Debt Charity (Stepchange.org) can help.

GET GOOD ADVICE

We can think we need ‘experts’ to help us be better with money, but sometimes our own circle of friends and family can be our best advisors. Ken explains, “There is a Japanese saying: ‘Breathe the air of the winners’. In other words, spend time with people whose good habits will rub off on you.”

Spending time with people whose financial outlook you admire and want to replicate – people who have got themselves out of debt, who have launched a successful side hustle or who always seem to find the best bargains – can benefit you, too. Talk to those friends about money and ask for their advice. We’re all brought up to think money chat is rude, so we miss out on a wealth of tips and advice from people who would genuinely want to help if they could.

DON’T DEMONISE DEBT

Don’t always assume that having debt is a bad thing. “Ultimately there’s good debt and bad debt – good debts are ones that create future income, whereas bad debts can easily create a miserable life,” says Ken. “If you borrow money to study or buy assets (such as a house) that’s good debt. Bad debt comes from unplanned expenses or spending above your budget.” Avoid the latter by coming up with a better way of relieving stress or rewarding yourself other than spending money, because research shows we often overspend to improve our mood. Write a list of five money-free ways to celebrate.

FIND SOME SUPPORT

Scary as it sounds, sometimes thinking through worst-case scenarios can actually help.

“In your mind, come up with three people who you know would be willing to support or help you in an emergency,” says Ken. “Many of us assume nobody would help us, which makes us feel worse, but certain people will absolutely say yes. It’s an important life lesson for independent people to realise that you’re never truly alone and it’s important to ask for help if you really need it.” Forcing ourselves to recognise this and to lean on people can actually improve relationships too, since they become less superficial and more honest.

LOSE THE EMOTION

For many of us, money holds plenty of emotional baggage, so treating it more neutrally can be helpful, according to

Ken. “Money is just numbers. If you can treat it neutrally – almost like a game – you’ll feel less stressed about it. Remember, money doesn’t kill you, worrying about money kills you. No matter what happens, it’s not the end of the world, even though it may feel like it is. A lot of happy, wealthy people have experienced debt or bankruptcy but survived and recovered.”

Instead of berating yourself, focus on getting perspective and practical solutions. Are you overspending? Try out budgeting apps like Plum or Emma. Not earning enough? Try selling your skills on Fiver.com or Taskrabbit. com. Buy a book like Ken’s, or Open Up: Why Talking About Money Will Change Your Life by Alex Holder.

WITHHOLD ANY JUDGEMENT

“The most important and impactful way you can reduce money stress in your life is to completely remove the association of money from your self-worth”, advises Ken. “We have this tendency to have low self-confidence when we don’t have much money and feel fantastic when things are going well, but all of that is ego – your financial situation doesn’t define who you are.”

Remind yourself that you wouldn’t judge others on, say, their eyesight or what size jeans they’re wearing.

So, why do we express such judgement on finances?

Start by practising compassion towards your own situation, and instead of focusing on the worst parts, congratulate yourself that you’re here and trying your best during a very challenging time. By Sophie Goddard

● Happy Money: The Japanese Art Of Making Peace With Your Money (Simon & Schuster) is out now