Making money: Would you charge a date for your company?
Stella Smith found herself at a loss through lockdown – until she made some new, profitable, companions…
Look up the word ‘busy’ in the dictionary, and you’d see a picture of me – most likely frantically dashing around. I’ve always been that way.
Since splitting from the father of my children when they were tiny, I’ve been a single mum, juggling parenting with my hectic job in events. Don’t get me wrong, the kids and I have had a great time over the years, living all over the world – everywhere from Sri Lanka to New York – before finally settling in London in 2014.
But the thing about living life at 100 miles an hour is that it leaves little room for romance. Not one for onenight stands, I’ve always been looking for the real deal – but most of my past relationships ended after about a year.
Then, in March 2020, when I was furloughed from my job because of the pandemic, my whirlwind life suddenly ground to a halt.
With so much time to think, I found myself going over past relationships in my head, wondering what had gone wrong, and what I was truly looking for in a man.
The more I thought, the more I realised I wanted to be with someone successful. It wasn’t necessarily about money – though that would be a nice bonus, of course. I just wanted someone mature, established.
So, after looking online for an exclusive dating site,
I found Seeking Arrangement, a site that pairs ambitious, attractive women like me with wealthy suitors, or ‘sugar daddies’, as they get called.
‘Sounds perfect, sign me up,’ I grinned. Fingers flying across the keyboard, I typed out a profile for myself.
Unlike other sites I’d tried, I had to be totally up-front about the fact that I was there to find a connection, but also for financial support. It did feel a little odd being so blunt about money, but I must’ve done something right, because within a few days, I had more than 100 messages.
Before joining the site, if you’d have asked me to describe a sugar daddy, I’d have immediately thought of a rich, old man surrounded by gorgeous women young enough to be their granddaughters. But you know what? It wasn’t like that at all.
In fact, 80 per cent of the blokes who messaged me were younger than me.
At 44, a toyboy was something I’d never thought about before. But some of them were pretty hard to resist…
As the country was still in lockdown, I didn’t meet any men from the site in person for a while. Instead, I chatted to them via video calls. And, actually, it worked out well, because not being able to rush out on a real-life date meant I got to know them on a deeper level.
Having that companionship made me realise just how much I’d missed it. All of the men were different, but they were all highly intelligent, interesting men, who were a pleasure to pass my lonely nights with once I’d tucked my children into bed.
By June, when lockdown restrictions eased enough to allow two people to meet up, I’d been chatting to some of my matches for two months.
I decided I liked 58 of them enough to arrange dates. I know it sounds like a lot, but I love meeting new people, and these were men I’d never otherwise have crossed paths with.
It’s like traditional dating is a big shopping mall, with so much on offer that you don’t know where to look – but through Seeking Arrangement, I’d suddenly found the VIP lounge.
So far, I’ve only met around 20 dates in person. At first, because of the restrictions, we’d go for strolls around the park. It was lovely to turn those online chats into real conversations. Then, when pubs and restaurants reopened in July, I swapped my wellies for heels and started meeting them at swanky Michelin-starred eateries instead. Sitting opposite hunky bachelors, sipping Champagne in glitzy bars was a real ‘pinch-me’ moment. For years, I’d been a struggling single mum. And now I was suddenly seeing the high life.
As well as paying for dinner, my dates would also give me cash gifts – £50 here, £100 there. One even slipped £150 into my pocket when I wasn’t looking.
So far, I’ve made around £2,000 in cash gifts, plus I get a regular £2,000 a month allowance from my youngest beau, who is 10 years my junior. I know what you’re thinking – how is what I do any different from escorting? Truth is, the money really does feel loving, not transactional. It’s not about sex, it’s about getting companionship. There are sites these men can go to if they just want a one-night thing, but I’ve never felt pressured to sleep with any of my dates. They don’t expect any physical intimacy either, not even kissing.
All they’re after is a relaxing evening with good food, fine wine and great company. High-flyers, they’re often too busy for real relationships. They get enough pressure at work, they don’t need any more when they clock-off. They just want a drama-free life. And they’re willing to pay any money to get it.
Now I’m 44, and, if you’d told me a year ago, I’d be getting paid to date, I never would have believed you. That’s what life is all about, though – changes and surprises!
‘I’d been a struggling single mum, but now I was suddenly seeing the high life’