Women are yet to break free from the shackles of patriarchy
Irecently watched a Bollywood movie about domestic violence. The movie was really about how patriarchy has tied down Indian women in ways that we think is normal. The recent lawsuit on gender discrimination in the Indian army jobs once again reminded us about how deep patriarchy runs in India. The government defence lawyers contended that the troops come from villages and so are not ready to accept command from women. The nation had a ‘huh?’ moment. Evidently, Indian women are far away from any semblance of gender parity.
In gender equality debates, we console ourselves with statistics about women’s participation in the workforce; point to the likes of Indra Nooyi and Indira Gandhi, to suggest that Indian women are much better off than their mums and grandmas. In our obsessive hunt for women emancipation flagbearers, we sometimes forget how bad it has been for most women. When women like men took advantage of India’s exploding economy at the start of this century, we started to believe that patriarchy was slowly receding into history pages. Until one morning in 2012, we woke up to the horrific gang rape of a young girl in a moving bus in Delhi. Since then the gender inequality wounds have just cracked open all over the country.
Clearly, patriarchy is not done yet with violence against women in India, on the streets or at homes. Even in educated homes violence against women is normalised. Between the first slap and the hundredth, between subtle and the more overt patriarchy, women are asked to simply adjust. Patriarchy keeps rearing its ugly head, reminding women of their place in society.
It’s patriarchy that subtly reminds women that their place is in the kitchen, but just not when we are menstruating.
Ask the girls of the college in Bhuj why they had to produce their proof of purity before entering the college kitchen and temple. Anthropology tells us that menstruation has frightened men since humans understood the meaning of blood.
Menstruating women are still segregated by many tribes like Gonds, often in life-threatening ways. They are forced to stay in secluded huts called gaokors for fear of inauspiciously catching sight of them. Sometimes patriarchy is that specific.
The cultural obligation to be almost apologetic about this so called monthly physiological aberration has been normalised since time immemorial. We are still learning how to deal with it. I was menstruating on the night of my final climb to the Mount Kilimanjaro summit. When I was writing my book about my experiences of climbing Africa’s highest mountain, I left out this crucial detail because I was not sure if patriarchy would be offended. Would you believe it? In that moment of indiscretion I pandered to the very system that I have been questioning all along.
Patriarchy is not just deep, it is above the law. Not even a Supreme Court ruling could open the doors of the Sabarimala Temple sanctum sanctorum to women of menstruating age. Agreed, there were historical compulsions — a mix of practical challenges such as the difficulty of climbing a hilly forest coupled with a lack of toilets in ancient times and the more esoteric reasons associated with maintaining the sanctity of the celibate deity Lord Ayyappa. Even women are demanding that sanctity be maintained.
We must recognise that patriarchy is essentially organised crime to perpetuate inequalities. The perpetrators are not just men. Women have also been enlisted. African American slave ‘drivers’ who were appointed by their master to supervise the slaves were as cruel as their white counterparts. They helped perpetuate the system.
We are tempted to think that fighting these inequalities are mere skirmishes in the backdrop of more important battles like wage parity, female infanticide, and malnutrition. On the contrary every little restriction and expectation adds up. Indian women regardless of their profession shoulder the lion’s share of expectations; to be safe, to look after the home and children, right down to clearing dishes from the dinner table, homework, the list goes on. These expectations led the government lawyers in India defending gender inequality in army jobs to argue that women get distracted by their family obligations. Is it any wonder that the troops from villages are at odds with female commanders?
Patriarchy is tenacious simply because it has thousands of years of history on its side. The line “that’s how it has always been” is effectively used to frighten changemakers. This single argument has perpetuated patriarchy despites the laws and court judgements.
Patriarchy clearly lacks self-awareness that it is bad for both men and women. More importantly, the focus is on protecting women, which gives credence to restrictions on where and when to go, what to wear, whom to marry, what jobs to do, even what to think.
It is going to take a lot more than just laws. It is going to take women to challenge every hint of patriarchy every step of the way. The fight has only just begun.
Patriarchy is tenacious simply because it has thousands of years of history on its side.