every word, gesture has an impact

As a psychologist working with children and families I have often assessed children who felt they were the favourite ones, and I also saw children who felt they were not favouredd by their r parents, and parents who felt terriblyy guilty off not only having a favourite child, but ut willing tot admit to it!

The mmost crucial part is the emotional impact ofo this on the ‘non-favourite’ child, wreckin their self esteem and troubling their ir future relationship in adulthood.

Favouritism is common in families, but it’s also difficult for parents to understand it, or even bee aware of it, or simply admit to it. Whatat I would like parents to be aware of is that enduring favouritism can lead to dysfunctional nal family d dynamics and cause severe permanentnt damage e to the development of the favouritee child, as much as the other children, on a psychologicalpsychol level.

In my opinion, parents are constantly tryingng to find a balance and be in equilibrium in beingng fair and equal to their children. This is often difficult, but it is important to make all your kids feel equally loved, appreciated, and unique. Children need to be feel that parents s are proud of them because of their unique characteristics and strengths. But avoid comparing your children to each other.

Even the favourite child can develop depressions and anxiety due to feeling the pressure to always be the best, and trying to match up to his/her parents’ expectations, andnd the other children can experience self esteem m issues anda anxiety, from feeling “not good enough”enough and from perceiving that their parents aren’t really invested in them.

Parents, please be aware that every word, gesture and facial expression of yours can have ann impact of your kids’ development andnd well-being, especially if the dynamics are persistent and enduring. It’s not only about how parents behave, but about how childrenn perceive e their behaviours and end up feeling g about themselves, as a consequence.