WHY DO I LOVE THE DRAMA SO MUCH?

I’m 40 and married with two children. My husband has given me an ultimatum – either I see a psychologist or our marriage is over. I come from a difficult background – my parents drank a lot and it was often followed by violence. My dad would beat my mom and she’d beat him back. It seemed as if there was always drama in the house.

My husband is a professional and when he has a meeting or dinner with staff I get so jealous I follow him and then when he gets home I scream, tear my clothes, swear at him in front of the kids and basically lose control.

Recently he had a function and before he got home I bashed my cheek against the door so it’d look as if he’d assaulted me. When he came into the house I started screaming and pressed the panic button. The security from our complex came and I even phoned the police. I told them my husband had beaten me when it wasn’t true.

It seems as if I’m addicted to drama and can’t stop lying. I feel this is my parents’ fault because they didn’t sort out their problems and now it’s blown over to me. What should I do? Marna, email

You can’t at the age of 40 still point the finger at your parents for your behaviour. You’re an adult and should behave like one. You’ll destroy your marriage if you keep behaving in such an uncontrolled and hysterical manner. You could also seriously harm your husband’s reputation if you keep telling lies about him.

You need professional help and your husband is right to tell you that you need to consult a psychologist – possibly even a psychiatrist – to address your behaviour and how you handle your emotions.

You need serious psychological intervention as you seem to lack an internal locus of control. If you don’t get help there are likely to be serious consequences not only for you but also for your kids and husband.