THREE DECADES IN AND STILL RELEVANT...

MELANIE BALA, 47, HAS CARVED OUT AN IMPRESSIVE 30-YEAR LONG CAREER IN MEDIA. SHE CHATS TO US ABOUT LOVES LOST, DEPRESSION AND REMINDS US WHY WOMEN NEED TO RECLAIM THEIR POWER.

As the country woke up to news of Bob Mabena’s passing on 10 August, a day after Women’s Day, I was just as shocked as everyone. Days later, when Mbali Soga commissioned me to do a cover feature on Melanie Bala, it was natural to ask how his death had affected her, as they were close friends for many years. Melanie and I meet for our interview on a cold Johannesburg morning — and I’m immediately taken by her grace, warmth, subtle command in her presence and sincerity as she speaks.

LOSING BOB

“It’s so strange to speak about someone who’s no longer around. And I have stayed away from doing interviews because it’s still so weird to talk about it. Bob and I started working together on the show Studio Mix in November 1993. We were both really young and lucky to work on a show with democracy still fresh in the country. As time went by, we connected on a personal level because of our enthusiasm for our buddying careers, and the fact that we loved having a good time. So, we shared everything with each other,” she says.

Melanie reminisces about some of the lessons she learned from Bob, describing him as a genuine person in an industry full of fake characters. “So, finding someone who was not trying to be friends with you because of your fame or who was trying to use you, was special. He was genuinely interested in people and he cared. I think that’s why his passing was so surreal, because it felt like he would be around for a long time. We take it for granted that someone who’s been around in any industry for a long time will be there forever. Whether you heard him on the radio or saw him on television, his death touched so many people because he was a part of us.”

30 YEARS IN THE GAME, AND COUNTING

Anyone who knew Melanie when she was young, would say she was too shy for TV. “I didn’t do anything that put me in the centre of attention, that’s not who I was. I actually wanted to study law, but realised a year into my studies at varsity that it was not for me.”

But then she bagged a presenting job for Bop-TV. “It’s funny that I didn’t realise what it would mean to be on TV. I didn’t know this was going to go beyond presenting. All the stuff that came with the job, like being well-known, was a surprise. And the magnitude of my fame multiplied when I moved to the SABC.”

But Melanie didn’t like the direction TV was heading. When Glen Lewis invited her to be part of his Metro FM drivetime show Blacks Don’t Read, she fell in love with radio. In 2003 she was then offered a news reading slot on Glen’s show. Eighteen years later, she’s still there and just as passionate. “The main reason I love radio is that it’s like doing live television; you get one shot and one opportunity to do it right and be on top of your game. Also, working on radio allowed me the flexibility to be hands-on in raising my two children.”

BEING GROUNDED

Melanie is down to earth, an uncommon trait in many celebrities. I ask her if that’s attributed to her career success. “My family raised me to be grounded. They instilled in me respect and never pressured me in terms of my career or measured my success and achievements, but rather wanted a daughter who was decent, honest and happy to help those in need.”

Over the years, she’s seen people in the entertainment industry doing things to get ahead. “I wasn’t prepared to do such. And I’m okay to not compromise myself for success. I think being authentic is what resonates with people. I show up and work hard. It doesn’t matter how talented you are, what matters is that you are professional and nice to be around.” She says this can make or break a career because people talk no matter what space you find yourself in.

LOWS AND HIGHS OF MOTHERHOOD

Melanie admits that motherhood is hard and obviously life-altering, also sharing how she struggled with it in the beginning. “I was sleep-deprived and always exhausted considering the fact that I was doing a morning show and had other responsibilities to attend to during

the day. The toll of doing it all, and not asking for help, stretched me to breaking point, so much so that I struggled with postpartum depression when my daughter was born.”

Postpartum depression affects about 10 to 15 per cent of mothers and Melanie describes the condition as having more consistent bad days than good ones with your baby, as well as feeling a sense of irritation and loss to life as you knew it. “The extreme and dangerous level of this depression,” she says, “is when you start having negative feelings towards the baby and either self-harm or harm the child.”

Five months after her daughter was born, she realised she was not coping at all. “As a freelancer I could only take six weeks’ leave, which meant I had to go back to work earlier. My breaking point was one weekend when my then four-year-old son wanted breakfast in the kitchen and my daughter, who didn’t sleep the night before, was crying and I couldn’t take it anymore.”

“I literally burst into tears and called my doctor for help. I had been scared of asking for help because I feared it would mean I was a bad mother. My two children are now 13 and nine, and I enjoy them far more than I did when they were younger. Their personalities are developing and it’s fascinating to watch.”

A JOURNEY TO WELLNESS

Melanie underwent an emergency Caesarean section with her first pregnancy and recovery was difficult. She was in a lot of pain and struggled to sit comfortably. “By the time Zwai and I decided to have a second baby I wanted to find something to help me with childbirth, speed up my recovery and make me more flexible and stronger. I then found an instructor who did pregnancy yoga and I went to class once a week.”

Her second was a natural birth and recovery was great. But because of her hectic schedule, she halted yoga funtil 2016 when her marriage started to crumble and her dad died. “It was happening all at once and I needed something to help me stay sane because I felt like I was going crazy. I then bounced back to yoga and found an app that helped with my fitness and wellness journey.”

At first, she wasn’t sure if it would work for her healing process but she was willing to give it a try. “Most days I would cry through the session. What I appreciate about yoga is that it helps one deal with what they are currently going through because, as much as it is physical, it is also mental.”

She says it also helps one realise all they can control is the present. “I had to deal with what was going on then, because if I didn’t, I knew I would slip back into depression, and yoga was one of the tools, along with therapy, that I used to help me heal. It gave me the space to process my emotions. I still practice yoga, as it’s perfect to help you process things happening in your life on a daily basis. Who knows? I might open up a yoga practice one day.”

TURNING OVER A NEW LEAF

About her divorce, she says: “What I can say is that anyone who has been through a divorce will tell you that it doesn’t happen overnight. You spend a long time trying to process that decision, particularly when children are involved. The biggest fear I think couples have is the impact it will have on children.”

She says it’s harder dealing with a divorce when in the public eye, even for couples who are not famous. “The reason Zwai and I choose not to speak about our divorce was that we decided to be private about our marriage from the beginning. There’s also children involved and we want to protect them.”

While Melanie sips her cappuccino, I ask how one can heal from divorce. “Divorce is a terrible thing. But when you walk away from your marriage make sure you are done, don’t have any regrets or second thoughts. Walk away knowing you have tried your best to salvage it.”

She says one should mourn what they thought their life was going to be because no one gets married with the intention to get divorced. “And that is what therapy taught me, to mourn the death of that dream. Then reconcile with where you are in your life. I had to figure out who I am outside of marriage, what I like doing and being okay with being alone.”

I ask her if she’s ready for love again. “I can tell you that I have learned to never say never, so who knows?”, she smiles.

A CELEBRATION OF TWO ICONIC BRANDS

It’s fitting for TRUELOVE magazine to celebrate its 500th issue with an iconic personality on its cover. “Being on the cover of TRUELOVE’s 500th issue is a big deal, considering that I was 19 when I did my first cover for this very magazine, which was also my first-ever cover. TRUELOVE introduces you to new people, and honours and reveres the women who have become icons over the years. This cover is meaningful to me as it acknowledges and celebrates the older woman as you do get to a point where people stop seeing you.”

“It’s good to be introduced to younger women who are doing amazing work and breaking glass ceilings. It’s great to also see a reflection of me, someone I can relate to, on magazines and television; someone who’s lived life, been through things, who now has a voice filled with wisdom and owns their age.”

BEING A GLOBAL CITIZEN

Melanie loves travelling — from planning to packing, shopping and enjoying the night life of a country. She says being in another country allows her to be anonymous. “When I was growing up my family and I travelled a lot across the country during school breaks. I think that’s where my love for travelling stems from. Travelling is something I do for me now. As a mother, so much that I do is for my children and, for many years, I wasn’t able to travel as much as I wanted when my kids were much younger. In this phase of my life, travelling is part of my reclamation process and indulging in things I love doing.”

She says travelling broadens one’s mind. “Once that happens, you can’t go back to being a closed-minded person. This is the reason I also want to travel with my kids as much as I can. I want them to understand that they are part of a bigger world. And when you are part of the bigger picture your understanding and kindness towards others goes further.”

On whether she’d move to another country, she says “maybe” and points out how dangerous South Africa has become for its female citizens. “A female acquaintance of mine recently moved to France to study there. She posted on Instagram how much safer and free she felt walking back home at night; a feeling she couldn’t recognise anymore in South Africa. And raising a daughter here is also hard because you want to protect them desperately.”

JUSTICE FOR ALL WOMEN

Women’s Month ended on a heavy note as gender-based violence, once again, made headlines everywhere. “It’s discouraging to see the social media hashtags, the protests and talks mainly organised by women, and it feels like men are taking the backseat while perpetrators continue to take women’s lives or victimise them.

“Although I wasn’t involved in the organising of the movements, justice for all women is a continental call for justice for victims of violence, such as Josina Machel, whose former partner, Rofino Licuco, assaulted her to a point where she lost her eye, and was recently acquitted.”

It’s a heavy topic to end our conversation on just before she has to go home and prepare for her shift on Metro FM’s lunchtime show.

“I think femicide and abuse have always been there but were barely reported because the victims have always been blamed. As someone once said: ‘as a compass surely points north, an accusing finger will surely point to a woman’.”

As we parted ways, I felt a sense of fulfilment for meeting such an esteemed media personality. Not only did she broaden my views on life through her own experiences, but she also exemplified the meaning of resilience and trusting the process.