Call her out for tolerating abuse, sister

THERE is nothing more sad than what remains of a person after they have been mistreated by the person they chose.

The brutal murder of Karabo Mokoena, I find, was a call out to me, to people like myself. I know of someone who was once abused. I know of someone who was violated. And looking back at it, I realise I simply didn’t do enough.

Why didn’t I do anything then? Was I waiting for her to be strangled? When the news of how Karabo was murdered came to my attention, I realised it’s because we don’t call people out.

It is so easy and convenient for us to speak about abuse in spaces we feel comfortable in, and not do something about it.

It’s all hunky-dory to talk about it on social media for retweets and the shares. It’s so comfortable for us to preach words such as “guys, what are we doing to our women?” “Woman leave, it’s not worth it.” Don’t tweet or post a Facebook message when you know your home boy Sbuda beats his girlfriend up and you have not called him out on it, when you know that guy you’re friends with o trapa mosadi wa haye strong!

And if you know your friend is in an abusive relationship, stop saying “it’ll be okay friend”.

No, it won’t be okay because of your tolerance of it. Call her out on her tolerance of abuse and actively try to help her get out of it.

Our silence doesn’t help. Our social media activism won’t help either.