Is there life on Mars?

Going to Mars isn’t science fiction any more. It’s a dream that will most probably, in our lifetime, become reality. But before I go, there are a few questions I need answered.

The scientific stuff, like where do we get oxygen and water and electricity and food and waste disposal and cheap labour and who does the laundry and the dishes and makes the beds will obviously be sorted out by the people at Nasa or SpaceX. That’s their responsibility.

I have much more pressing questions.

Imagine it’s the year 2031 (that’s only 14 years from now) and the first 100 of us land on the Red Planet.

Pioneering (that’s Nasa’s term for colonising, but don’t mention that word) Mars begins. My first question: Who is responsible for law and order? Are we taking a small police force along? Will they be armed? And what legal system will we be introducing in our new home? Will we need judges or are we going the jury route? Will building a prison be one of our first tasks? I need to know.

As far as time is concerned, I suggest the Martian calendar starts the instant our first group of pioneers land. Time is manmade, so for me it just makes sense that without man, there is no time on Mars. Not yet anyway. We will be importing it.

With time comes other issues: work hours, weekends, public holidays, maternity leave, sick leave … May I be so bold as to suggest we have a three-day work week and a four-day weekend?

Maybe we should vote on that. Which brings me to my next question: Politics.

Will we be voting on pressing issues? Majority rule or unanimous decision making? Can I have veto rights? If not, then I will volunteer to be responsible for counting the votes.

Then: Money. Will we need money? Off course we will. Well, the other 99 Martians definitely will, because I plan on being the only one on Mars with a braai and a potstill. Which means a chop and a dop is going to cost you.

And, furthermore, we definitely do need something of value for poker nights.

One can only play strip poker so many times.