My Kind of Holiday

Your favourite city abroad and why?

London. It’s the original heart of the evil empire and so a good place to start becoming educated about the world.

What must a first-time visitor see there?

The Burlington House Cartoon by Leonardo Da Vinci, if it is at the National Gallery (it is moved). You don’t look at it; it moves into your head and holds your heart in its hand.

What was your best holiday, ever?

When I was about nine, my parents took us on a three-month trip around the world. It was so completely generous and comprehensive, I will be forever grateful.

What was your worst holiday ever?

I spent years touring, so I’m not the most fussy person. Probably the worst place I’ve visited in terms of service is Sun City. The Palace is one of the most expensive and dismal places I’ve ever been: grumpy people, bad food and a very strange concept of hospitality. If it wasn’t for the customers, they’d be much happier.

Which is the worst hotel you have stayed in?

The Holiday Inn, East London, 1998. The room had a bricked-in window, a candle and a Bible. It wasn’t dirty, just claustrophobic and mean-spirited.

What is the best thing you have been given on holiday?

Penicillin.

Who would be your fantasy holiday companion and why?

Because he’s a friend and the best travel writer I’ve read, Darrel Bristow-Bovey. The only things we look forward to in the post are his brilliant postcards.

What is the most exotic dish you have ever eaten on holiday?

Probably a burger in the Mthatha Wimpy. It wasn’t supposed to be exotic, but that didn’t stop them.

One place you want to see before you die?

The Arctic.

Have you had any embarrassing moments as a traveller?

Many. The worst was going into a movie theatre in London on a public holiday. As we settled down, I commented on how miserable the people around us were. People gave me filthy looks … then a voice-over thanked everyone for observing the moment of silence for all those who had fallen in the war.