Lover tried to kill my baby

MY FAMILY TRIED TO WARN ME ABOUT HIM

MY BOYFRIEND and I have been living together for a year. He is considerably older and has two children with different women.

I went against my parents ’ wishes when I moved in with him. My father said that if I left, I would no longer be part of the family. They said that my boyfriend is a gangster. I have not spoken to any of them since.

It has been hard because I miss them. I have been using the birth control pill, but I fell pregnant. I only realised this when I was about four-months pregnant. My boyfriend demanded that I have an abortion, but I told him the pregnancy was far advanced.

He insisted, saying that he knew someone who would do it and if I didn ’ t have an abortion, he would leave me. After a lot of arguments and him punch- ing me in the stomach, he left me. I haven ’ t seen him since.

So, I am pregnant and staying in a flat that I cannot afford. Though I work, it will be a battle on my own. I have no idea what to do next and feel so alone.

Desperately Alone, Mayfair

I can understand how lonely and desperate you feel. However, you not only have yourself to think about now, you also have to take your baby into consideration.

Swallow your pride and get in touch with your family. Apologise to them for the way you treated them and ask for forgiveness. Obviously, your father was right and your ex-boyfriend is a thug. He was cruel and unreasonable to give you such an ultimatum. I am sure that this is not the sort of role model you want for your child. If you cannot approach your parents directly, then go to another family member and ask them to intervene.

You will need the love and support of family and friends and you will be surprised at how forgiving people can be in times of need. They might be angry and disappointed in you, but given time, they will forgive you.

I am sure you are also shocked and disappointed with the way things have turned out, but you have to pick yourself up and start planning your future. Many single women manage to cope with a child and work.

Start looking after your health and see a doctor regularly. Explain to the doctor that you had a blow to the stomach so that it is checked properly.

Once you have discussed this with family and friends, your load will be lighter and you won ’ t feel so alone. No one can make you a victim, you do this to yourself. Start taking control of your life and plan your future carefully.