Tough questions

HAVE said it before (I think) and I will say it again . . . South Africans have a unique talent . . . we can find humour in almost everything, and within minutes. Let’s just have a look at the Oscar Pistorius trial . . . no, I am not going to make an Oscar joke . . . I am talking about Barry Roux.

Now for the many, many South Africans not following the Oscar trial in the newspapers, on TV, on the Internet, on Facebook, on Twitter . . . Barry Roux is Oscar’s lawyer.

He is the “new sheriff in town” . . . reducing witnesses to tears and casting doubt over everything. Just this week Roux picked up Oscar’s cricket bat in court and made a few swings towards the bathroom door . . . just to clear up some point.

Did you hear about the guy who reported his car stolen? However, after being cross examined by Roux he now doubts whether he ever owned a car.

And then there is Chuck Norris . . . who has never feared anything and anyone . . . ever, until he was cross examined by Roux.

So it has begun . . . Oscar take a back seat, Roux is the man of the moment.

Talking about though questions, the following is a true story (although it happened some time ago). New York resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.

Evans got stuck on the first question, a typically easy initial $100 question: “Which of the following is the largest?”

A) Peanut; B) An Elephant; C) The Moon; D) Hey, who you calling large?

Immediately Evans was struck with an all

Iconsuming panic as she did not readily know the answer. “Hmm, oh boy, that’s a toughie,” said Evans. The presenter did her level best to hide her disbelief. “I mean, I’m sure I’ve heard of some of these things before, but I have no idea how large they would be.”

Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50. Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide between an elephant or the moon.

“Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!” exclaimed Evans. “Darn. I think I better phone a friend.”

Evans asked to be connected with her friend, Betsy, who is an office assistant.

“Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I’m on TV!’ said Evans, wasting the first seven seconds of her call.

“Which of the following is the largest? B, an elephant, or C, the moon.”

Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon. Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.

To everyone’s astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend’s advice. “I think I’d like to ask the audience,” she said.

The audience returned 98 percent in favour of “The Moon”.

Having used up all her lifelines, Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life.

“Wow, seems like everybody is against what I’m thinking,” said the too-stupid-to-live Evans. “But you know, sometimes you just got to go with your gut. I’m going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer.”

Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath ...