Apart from Hitler, good dudes were born in April, including moi
JESUS Christ was crucified and died on the cross. The Bible narrates that he was resurrected after three days. In other words, he was born again in April.
I am not the kind of person who likes to boast and portray himself as much bigger than he really is, but I do think it is only wise that I narrate the truth that I honestly was born in April. Honestly, I was born on April 22.
It is quite nice to be born in April. I mean the names that were born in April are not small in this thing called life. I mean that Lenin is not a small name, is he? I mean Vladimir Lenin, that guy from Russia who became a legend in the history of an ideology called communism. Remember him?
Another remarkable phenomenon born in this month is just another contributor to the glory of literature in the world; I mean William Shakespeare. Let me be honest, when I discovered he was born on April 23, I was shell shocked, because I grew up with the impression that I was born on the same day.
But that impression was changed by the identity authorities who revealed to me that I was, in fact, born a day earlier, which, between you and me, suited me perfectly.
Around the same time I also made the discovery that Vladimir Lenin was born on the same day as me. Being a bit on the left in terms of ideology, I was delighted to know this. Again, I am not boasting, I am only trying to clarify that yours truly is not just a “laaitie”, because how can a person born on the same day as Lenin be a mugu? That does not happen… It cannot happen…
This is not self praise, but it is general knowledge that people and things born in this month are not just small enterprises. No, they are big… just like this country. In other words this country South Africa is five days younger than me. So please do not forget that I am five days older than the RSA… Please!
On second thoughts, April would have been good if there were no negatives about it. But then it would not have been wonderful if there were no negatives about it. Like, first, the fact that Jan van Riebeeck arrived in the Cape on April 6, 1652… Or the gruesome and awful fact that Adolf Hitler was born in the same month as me and South Africa!
Damn, that is difficult to swallow. It is more difficult to swallow the fact that he was also born around 20 something in the same month. I think it is the 20th of this month. In hindsight, I do however think that this highlights the beauty of our presence on Mother Earth.
In other words, Lenin and I are supposed help balance the world and steer it away from the impression that Hitler and them guys are the dominant chaps in the narratives of April.
In some clever narrative it is also possible to say that the son of Mary and Josephwas born again in this month. So it is not wise to view me as a “nobody”. If I am a “nobody” how come I was born in this splendid month? No I am not just a “nobody”. I am somebody… A good “somebody”, who unfortunately lives in Khayelitsha.
Self praise is not a recommendation, but I know that most of the people born in this month are wonderful people who do not know how to hurt others. It is not a secret that the world is preserved by the many good hearts of the world born in this month.
It is only humble for me to say that all South Africans are April Fools, because the country celebrates itself in April. It is an honest fact that many people in the world come to South Africa during Easter, because they want to be near Christ during this special time. I also feel very gigantic during this time, and between you and me, I do look and feel more handsome than any other time in the year.
This is a good time of the year, not only because I was born in April, but because this majestic country also celebrates life in this month. I am sorry to say this, but this country gets its majesty from the grace of splendid people like yours truly. Between you and me, it is not a cheap thing to live knowing this amazing glamorous reality.