Thando Mqgolozana’s betrayal of women stings
DISGUSTED. That was my first reaction when I heard that celebrated writer Thando Mgqolozana had been accused of repeatedly assaulting the mother of his child, Thabisa.
In tweets, Thabisa revealed she had been a victim of assault by the celebrated author, even sharing an image of her bruised body. My heart broke when, after she had revealed her trauma, she deleted her tweets. The only sign of them was about their child. “I’m ok. The focus is on co-parenting now.”
I am never surprised when I hear that a man has been accused of assaulting a woman. It really shouldn’t be surprising, especially in South Africa, where gender-based violence and violence against women has been, for lack of a better term, normalised.
I wasn’t surprised because statistics have shown that women are assaulted by men closest to them – their partners, family, friends, colleagues and loved ones. Intimate partner violence is a pandemic on its own and it’s a battle that we are losing.
It has been over a week since the harrowing news of the murder and dismembering of Nosicelo Mtebeni, a student at the University of Fort Hare, whose boyfriend has been arrested for the crime. It was another gruesome reminder that South Africa has a problem.
Hence I wasn’t surprised when I saw the allegations about Mgqolozana. But disgusted I was and still am.
I can’t help being disgusted because I thought Mgqolozana knew better. I thought he was one of those men who were vocal about how horrible and real the scourge of woman abuse was in this country and the role that men needed to play to eliminate it.
Here is a man who was celebrated as an ally of women in the literary industry. A man who has been vocal about racism in the industry and festivals that were not safe places for women and black people. We were all excited when he formed the Abantu Book Festival in 2016, which became a must-attend gathering for bookworms and people interested in African literature. It was a celebration of black writers and writers of colour and unapologetically so.
Him being accused of being part of the problem facing many South African women was a blow. A blow so severe it will take a long time for women in the literary scene to trust the men in the industry. It has also destroyed a platform that many of us loved – Abantu.
A tweet by Kenyan poet and activist Shailja Patel underscored the betrayal of Mgqolozana.
“When @lebomashile opened @Abantu_ 2017 with ‘Black bodies are safe here. Women’s bodies are safe here...’ my heart soared. Today we learn that @Abantu_ founder, Thando Mgqolozana, inflicted paraffin burns on the mother of his child. My heart hurts for us all.”
Checking Twitter last weekend, the backlash wasn’t swift enough. The news barely trended. Already, as arts editor Lindokuhle Nkosi tweeted, people were making excuses for Mgqolozana, ready for him to come back.
It was with dismay that I saw comments saying the victim, only known as Thabisa, was being vindictive as Mgqolozana was launching a new project with Abantu.
To reduce her bravery, coming out to tell the world that a man many saw as a hero had assaulted her, to jealousy is ridiculous.
To reduce this horrible situation to “cancel culture” looking for another victim is disingenuous. If these allegations are true, then of course he should be cancelled. He should be de-platformed. What sucks is that this will come with a setback and loss of a platform that celebrated the best African writers.
But we should never forget who has suffered the most here: the mother of his child.