Have we reached the peak of our lateral thinking?
TOMORROW marks the birth date of the British doctor, Edward de Bono, who is credited with developing the concept of “lateral thinking”. I have never truly understood this concept, but I suspect it’s been around a lot longer than De Bono. South African politicians are experts at lateral thinking. You ask one of them a direct question and they scoot off sideways (literally laterally) and answer a completely different question.
“Sir, what does the government intend to do about Cape Town’s water shortage?” “We must stand together to stamp out racism and colonialism.”
“But what about the dam levels?” “Yes, it is because the dam devil colonials came across the water.”
Husbands have always practised lateral thinking. An affectionate wife cuddles up and tickles the back of her husband’s neck and whispers: “A penny for your thoughts, lover?” And he murmurs: “Remember when you could buy a 7mm masonry drill bit for a penny?”
Actually, I don’t think that’s technically lateral thinking. It’s probably closer to one-track thinking. It takes more than a neck tickle to divert a man’s thoughts from masonry drill bits.
It works the other way too. There’s an old joke about the married couple in bed and the husband is getting very amorous and after some advances, he asks his wife: “What are you thinking, sweetheart?” and she says: “Blue. I definitely think a pale blue for the bedroom ceiling.”
While we’re on the subject of anniversaries (I was, remember?) today, May 18, is the anniversary of the day in 1975 when Japanese mountaineer Junko Tabei became the first woman to reach the top of Mount Everest.
I have always admired mountaineers and found them a slightly mystical breed of people. It seems to me a very noble thing to climb a scary mountain peak for the simple reason that it’s there. You train for years, get your body in peak (excuse the pun) physical condition, and then set off to spend several days in extreme discomfort and danger to reach a point that could probably be reached in a fraction of the time by helicopter.
Pretty soon somebody will develop new technology to make climbing that much easier and, before you know it, people will be queuing to climb that peak using the latest gadgets.
There’s a steep mountain behind the farmhouse where I grew up and it was considered quite a mission to climb. It took a whole morning. Those of us who managed the climb used to scratch our names triumphantly on the beacon at the summit.
Recently, a young friend rode to the top on a scrambler motorcycle in less than 30 minutes. He didn’t even bother to scratch his name there.
Last Laugh
A woman phoned the police station and reported that her house had been burgled. “Send somebody immediately,” she yelled.
The cop on duty said all their vehicles were out and all they had was the canine unit. “I don’t care, just send somebody.” Pretty soon, a van arrived and a policeman emerged leading a large Alsatian dog.
“Just my luck!” the woman muttered. “I report a burglary and they send a blind policeman!”