Old technology will always be our rock of ages

THERE is sometimes a lot to be said about old technology. I realise science takes great amazing leaps almost every day, but for normal folk the stuff we used 20 years ago still works fine and seems to last longer. I have a laptop that’s about six years old and apparently that’s ancient for a computer. A friend looked at it recently and shook his head in sorrow. “The trouble is none of the new apps can run on that old machine,” he said.

I thought to myself: the apps I have are doing well and I’m managing to tap out a steady income from this old electronic dinosaur. However, I took it to the shop for a service just in case. While it was there I asked one of the technicians whether he thought I needed to replace it with a newer model.

He looked furtively around and whispered: “Don’t do that. These old models are great and you can update it as often as you like. The new ones have all the fancy bells and whistles, but they don’t last as long as these. And these older ones need servicing less often.”

My house was fitted with a large hot water geyser when it was built 42 years ago. From time to time one of the elements has needed replacing, and I recently asked a plumber whether I should consider replacing the whole cylinder.

“Don’t do it,” he said, just as the computer boffin had done. “We can fix this one as often as it goes wrong. It has a tough copper lining that will last forever. The new ones are made of steel and they rust after a few years.”

There’s a similar thing about old cars. The modern ones have on-board computers that control every function. Nobody can fix anything on them without plugging them into the Mother computer. If your car radio is stolen the car dies and has to be towed to the nearest mother computer to be re-programmed.

I remember travelling through the Karoo in an old Peugeot 404 many years ago and having engine failure in the middle of nowhere. As I stared into the engine compartment, a farmer drove up in a rusty bakkie and offered to help. Apparently there was something wrong with the points, so he scraped them with his pocket knife, then broke off a small piece of wire from a nearby fence and used it to replace something that had burned out. The car started immediately and ran perfectly. It stayed that way until we sold it a few years later.

I gave the farmer a bottle of Muscadel for his troubles.

I wonder what would happen today if a newer car died somewhere between Beaufort West and Aberdeen.

“Anybody got a spare computer we can borrow?”

Last Laugh

Two nuns were driving when their car ran out of petrol. There was a service station not far away but the only container they had was a chamber pot, so they went and filled it with petrol and carried it carefully to the car.

As the one nun was pouring the liquid from the potty into the car’s tank, a stranger stopped and looked on in admiration.

“Good heavens sister,” he remarked, “I wish I had your faith.”