Government ‘fact adjustments’ have inured us to lies

WHEN is a lie not a lie? We live in a world so filled with lies that we have almost forgotten what the truth actually looks like. Recently our whole system of issuing visas was changed and made more complicated – original birth certificates required for children and sworn affidavits from parents not travelling with their children, and all the rest of the tangled red tape.

Apparently thousands of would-be tourists simply gave up the idea and cancelled their bookings, saying there were easier places to visit.

The official reason for all this unpleasantness was given as the need to prevent child trafficking. More than 30 000 children were illegally brought into and out of South African annually, according to the official lie.

Later reports seemed to indicate there had been only 23 reported cases, which is rather fewer than the official 30 000.

Politicians will assure us this was not a lie; it was merely an “adjustment of the facts”.

We should be used to that by now. A local airline promises us a flight to Johannesburg for a mere R499. But when you roll up at the booking office clutching your R499, you’re told there’s an “airport tax” of almost that sum again.

It seems you can’t actually fly to Joburg for R499 after all.

Was that offer an outright lie or simply a “withholding of part of the truth”?

I have received many exciting SMS messages announcing that I have won R20 000 in a national Rica competition (which I never entered, even if such a competition actually existed). That’s a blatant lie, but we shrug and accept it as part of modern life.

I’ve also been told I’ve won many thousands in an “Omo competition”, which I also did not enter.

Shops advertise sales and promise “up to 50 percent off selected items”. What they forget to mention is that the “selected items” are pale green size XXL underpants and yellow bow ties, so technically they’re not lying, are they?

Another adjusted truth is the advertisement that promises to sell you shirts “From as little as R2.50 each”. The catch is in that trap word, “from”. All they need do to stay technically within the truth is have one shirt at R2.50 and all the rest at R80.

Then there’s the anonymous telephone caller who says: “We are doing a survey of people in your area and wonder whether you’d mind answering a few questions.” Say “Goodbye” and put the phone down. It’s a lie. There’s no survey. The caller is softening you up for a sales pitch for funeral insurance.

No wonder we accept all the baloney that’s dished up daily by our politicians. We’ve come to accept lies as part of normal life, so what’s another little fib between friends?

Last Laugh

A golfer known for his bad temper strode into the pro shop and said: “My clubs are no damn good. I need a whole new set of clubs.” He bought a new set at vast cost. The next time he appeared in the pro shop, the professional expected a tirade against the new clubs.

“So, how are the new clubs doing?” he asked tentatively.

To his surprise, the golfer replied: “They’re absolutely great. I can hurl the new putter at least 20m further than I could throw my old one.”