#FOMO & #JOMO this Christmas
As I was busy pointing and shooting my iPhone at every opportunity for a photo at the Bulong Pulungan Christmas par ty at the Sofitel Philippine Plaza, a colleag ue quipped, “You know, you’re going to make others depressed!” Of course, I knew exactly what she meant. My colleague was actually voicing what Netizens term as # FOMO, or “fear of missing out.”
Online sources define #FOMO as “anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on a social media website;” and “a pervasive apprehension that others might be having rewarding experiences from which one is absent.”
“This social angst is characterized by ‘a desire to stay continually connected with what others are doing’.”
It’s angst stemming from the fear that opportunities and a good time are going to slip through one’s life like sand on outstretched fingers. It’s part competition, part envy. It’s what we call hinayang. And when we’re the one posting, it’s a silent boast that speaks volumes, especially if you post a photo, say, with Prince Harry?
I’m guilty of #FOMO, and we’re legion. In college, it was fear of missing out on meeting cute guys if one missed a party (Thank God there was no Facebook then.). At work in the new millennium, it was fear of missing out on connections, of being seen where it counted, and with who counted. I guess it was also fear of being the topic of conversation — if one were important enough to be discussed in absentia!
Those who are guilty of #FOMO, the line forms to the right. And those who are NOT guilty, go to the left. I can bet which line is kilometric.
*** To counter # FOMO, Netizens have surged forth with #JOMO or “joy of missing out.” Huffington Post declares that #JOMO is “a rebellion against saying yes to everything, and is about giving yourself the space to think and experience things without freaking out about what you ‘should’ be doing instead.”
St. Marie Eugenie, founder of the Assumption Convent, called it “joyful detachment.”
It’s detaching oneself from the fear of missed cute guys/girls, missed opportunities, missed chances of winning the raffle (it’s just a chance, okay?), missed photo opportunities with Digong or Leni, MVP or JAZA, Nedy or Tessie. It’s being free of fear that the Joneses were there and you weren’t. It’s giving up something for something you want more — like quiet time, a peaceful respite. And if you weren’t invited to the party that everyone and his assistant is posting on FB and IG, well, just sign off or log off. Don’t get greener with envy by the second by ogling more photos from the party that are just going to break your heart.
And if one didn’t miss out, if you were at the party that your “frenemy” missed, there shouldn’t be any guilt at posting photos. You’ve earned your slot on the guest list; your name card at the presidential table. Being over- exposed is not just your problem — those who stalk you, friend and foe alike, can choose to ignore your posts. But chances are, they wont.
Just like detaching oneself from # FOMO, one should also distance oneself from the guilt of NOT missing out. Now, what hashtag should I put for that?
*** Not everyone in our midst will have a merry Christmas. We ought to exercise restraint in public expressions of how happy we are if the person feeling the holiday blues is near and dear to us. Show, but not flaunt, the reason everyone wants to be you. The pressure to be happy bears down on a lot of other people, and when they aren’t as happy as the Season promises they will be, they just crack.
Pull in others — a grieving colleague, a confused friend, a family member who has just lost his job, a widowed aunt, an orphaned neighbor — into your circle of joy. Even just for coffee or a glass of bubbly.
I know of this widow who would be surrounded by her loving children on Christmas Eve, but would find herself alone on Christmas Day because her children had to go to their in-laws. Fortunately, a caring neighbor, who would notice that the widow’s house would be unusually quiet on Dec. 25, would always make her part of their Christmas Day gatherings. The good neighbor has since moved away, but fortunately again for the widow, one of her children’s in-laws has requested her to join their Christmas reunion this year.
I also know of a group of singles who would form a support group to take care of a member or two who needed company during the cold December nights, when siblings had their own “obligations.” They would even make hospital visits, just so no one needs to “hurdle” the season alone. Yes, believe it or not, some people have to hurdle the season because of the loneliness of having a Silent
Night when everyone else seems to be singing Jingle Bells. But with the right amount of sensitivity — not guilt — there’s no reason not to be joyful this Christmas.
*** Christ was born to redeem the world ( STAR president and CEO Miguel Belmonte always ends his speech during the annual employees Christmas party by reminding one and all this true meaning of Christmas), and though cultural practices make the season one of festivities, feasting and gift-giving, the first six letters of Christmas is the essence of the celebration And there should be no # FOMO on Christ.