Forewarned is forearmed

Dear Manay Gina, I am giving birth next month but because my mother has an ailment, she will not be available to assist me after I give birth. My motherin-law, on one hand, has offered that she will stay with us to take care of me and her new grandchild. Of course, I appreciate it. But my mom- in-law is very critical of me. She is a bit overbearing and critical of how we run our home. Plus, she doesn’t really understand our lifestyle at all. My question is: What can we do to make her visit more enjoyable?

Minnie

Dear Minnie, Going into this situation with the expectation that it will be challenging can actually make it less challenging. So, as early as now, discuss your anxiety with your husband and decide how you will try to manage the scenarios that you think might cause problems.

To help alleviate your mother-in-laws possible feelings of insecurity, ask for her advice on matters on which you are flexible. Try to pinpoint the scenarios you foresee as unavoidable, including various likely outcomes, and brainstorm together how you will handle them. Your husband probably knows better than anyone what irks his parents and how to soothe them, so let him be the first to offer suggestions about how to manage the tension.

Lastly, always remember that she is coming to help you. Try and be as gracious as possible in accepting her help, even if it is not exactly how you would like it. Affectionately, Manay Gina *** “Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law.” – Hubert H. Humphrey

*** Send questions to dearmanaygina@yahoo.com