Group helps families cope with loss of an offspring

Group helps families cope with loss of an offspring

A candle-lighting activity in honor of departed children will be held at the Plaza Independencia on Dec. 9

PARENTS who lost a child can find comfort and support from one another.

A support group for grieving parents is inviting couples who lost a child to gather and light a candle on Dec. 9.

The candle-lighting activity, which is held worldwide every second Sunday of December in honor of departed children, will be held at the Plaza Independencia in Cebu City at 5 p.m.

In Cebu, the activity will be led by a support group called Hugs.

History

Launched in 2009, Hugs is the only support group for grieving parents in the Visayas.

Police Senior Supt. Anthony Obenza, Hugs president, said he thought of forming the group after his youngest child died of dengue in September 2009. Several friends condoled with them, but “nobody can answer our personal questions,” he said yesterday.

“I read in the newspaper that there’s a support group for grieving parents in Manila. There’s none in Cebu,” said Obenza.

Obenza and his wife, along with eight other

couples, formed the group in 2009. Now, the group has 14 couples.

Among the newest members are the parents of Ellah Joy Pique, who was killed in February 2011.

The group went to the Pique house during the wake of Ellah Joy and offered emotional support to the family.

“Wa ko nila kaila pero niadto sila sa balay ug nisimpatiya namo (I didn’t know them but they went to our house to sympa- thize with us),” said Renante, Ellah Joy’s father.

The group first organized the candle-lighting activity in Cebu in 2010. It was held at the Capitol.

Last year, the group held the activity at the Plaza Independencia where more than 100 couples turned up.

Reaching out

The international candle-lighting activity was first held in the US in 1997 by the Compassionate Friends, a worldwide support group for families that lost a child.

Most members of Hugs lost a child to an illness.

Obenza said the group wants to reach out to other couples. “We are al- ready partially healed. It’s time for us to reach out to other parents and offer our help,” he said.

The group has an inhouse psychologist who offers free counseling to couples.

Roger Vallena, an editor of Sun.Star Superbalita, said there are couples who split because of the death of a child. A support group, he said, can help keep the family together.

Vallena, who lost his five-year-old daughter to dengue, said the group often celebrates occasions, such as Christmas and New Year, with their departed children at the cemetery.

“We call it our new normal,” he said.