A journey to become the person I want to be
EVERY year, Microsoft sends educators from around the world to attend E2-Educator Exchange where delegates share best practices and innovative ideas that bring awesomeness to the classroom.
This year, I was one of those teachers.
Being from the private sector and having been with the Microsoft Education Ambassadors Program for just a year, everyone was a stranger. My colleagues from my own country knew each other well but not me. The two other Philippine delegates to E2 were inundated with congratulatory messages. I got none. I was an outsider. But being a neophyte empowered me as I traveled to Bu- dapest, Hungary. The awareness that they did not know me fueled my desire to unleash the person I wanted to be.
Inferiority complex
Initially, I felt uneasy interacting with foreigners and people who seemed to be more knowledgeable than me. I felt inferior and could not catch up when they spoke.
By reminding myself that they did not know me, I learned to focus on the different English accents and was then able to interact without hesitation.
I felt more confident to express my ideas to my multicultural group and other E2 delegates. I was able to connect with all of them.
The language barrier ceased to exist. I realized that thinking about what we could and could
not do had kept us from going with the flow and adapting to the circumstances.
It helped that I found it difficult to accept defeat. Being a Taurus, I was born with a competitive spirit. When the Hack the Classroom group challenge was announced, I was glad that I belonged to a group that shared my determination to win.
We brainstormed. We studied the contest criteria and carefully designed our hack, tapping all the points asked of us. When we did not win, my “old” self might have put all the blame on me.
The new me told my group mates that winning was not important. What mattered was the journey and the fun we had—the boisterous laughter, spontaneous use of our native languages in our excitement to express our ideas that left the others confused, and the sharing of our different cultures.
The experience taught me humility. Even with careful planning and great people on board, we messed up sometimes. There was nothing wrong with defeat. It made us want to be better. It was indeed OK to mess up.
The trip also taught me to be more flexible and not to worry too much when I had to make unavoidable changes to my timetable. I used to follow schedules strictly.
But even before I left the Philippines, there was some holdup in the visa processing and other things did not not go according to plan.
So I told myself to just embrace the unexpected.
Focus on what matters
My mantra—“I do not know them as they do not know me”—kept me going in Budapest. I learned to ignore stressful things and focus on what was happening, on what mattered.
What bothered me was not having been able to review fully for the Microsoft Certification for Educators (MCE) examination. Throughout the long flight from Manila to Budapest, I sorted through the questions in the reviewers, putting screen captures in folders for specific modules.
I shared the review questions with my codelegates, hoping it would help me push myself to study. Nothing hap- pened. I was just too tired.
When exam time came, I told myself I would be a blank slate and would not regret not having reviewed thoroughly. Being in the moment helped me focus on what was necessary. I passed the MCE exam.
Keeping in mind that the other E2 people did not know me helped me interact with the other delegates, face challenges and identify what were essential. I shed my inhibitions and did unplanned things. I was able to be who I wanted to be—a better me.
When asked what made my E2 experience different from the others, I reply that I was there not as Mary Anthony Cabeguin Sieras from Cagayan de Oro City, Philippines, but as the person that my countrymen, coeducators and students expected would represent them.