After having an affair, he’s afraid his wife is doing it, too

It’s too late now to rewind events, and way too much spilt milk to cry over. You and your office mate started on the wrong foot from the start. Why couldn’t she have canceled her engagement then, let your office romance be known and not hidden—by introducing a third party to be her surrogate!

If the two of you didn’t have the courage then to confess that you didn’t love each other enough to marry, where is your insensitivity continuing this affair coming from, knowing that innocent people are being terribly hurt?

You could have prevented spoiling the lives of people, had you both just been honest with your feelings for each other at the start. You had the freedom then. Didn’t you both see the wide-open door before you? Was getting married first to other people, and then cheating on them later, a better option?

Is this going to be a never-ending zig for your zag, a tit for your tat marriage? How long will the getting even go on? Will a lifetime be enough? And if you say you can accept any way she wants to punish you, accept her having an affair with ex-boyfriend, what difference does it make who the guy is? He is still a man. She’s not choosing from another species! And she’ll still be fooling around.

Is this the kind of marriage you want? Are you trying to have a contest on who can be the more vile? Can you possibly start over again with your wife, even if you initiated the crack in your marriage? These wranglings are going to have absolutely no winners. Shouldn’t enough be enough?

E-mail the author at emarcelo@inquirer.com.ph or emarcelo629@gmail.com.