Am I a good parent?

The writer is a banker by day and a storyteller by night

Now that I have children I ask the questions am I a good parent, am I keeping them safe, are they happy, am I doing my best as a parent? I wish I could stop doubting and know that I’m doing my best, but is that ever possible?

Never knew being a parent is hard and there is no manual or guide in being a parent, only the teaching we had from our own upbringing. We try our best and hope it will work out in the end.

Challenges are part of life, and it starts from an early age, life paves the road which is full of obstacles and challenges and it is never always a straight road. We navigate through life to the best of our judgment and abilities, passing through childhood to our teenage then on to adulthood. As adults we face new set of experiences, we are given responsibilities and the freedom to forge our own path which will carve out our future. Wherever that path may lead us, we aren’t always in control of it.

But we make best of the situation and learn from our mistakes. But the real challenge is when we are introduced to a second person in our life. Now no longer living it ourselves, but with another person, with it includes new set of responsibilities.

As we start to build a new life around our family, they start to grow — one becomes two, three or more. We now have children — the reality starts to sinks in — we are parents now. That also means our responsibilities and priorities have changed and a new path has been written. Of course responsibilities are shared between partners and children are being considered a blessing.

Like any blessing you have to be grateful, work hard to uphold it, love them unconditionally for as long you breathe. We will do everything to protect, provide, support and love them as long as we can. As parents we would have made a promise to our children that we will give them a better life.

Now that’s not to say our life was ever bad, our parents had provided us a life where we didn’t have to think nor worry.

So the promise is like a passage in becoming a parent.

Much of it we could try taking examples of our parents, how they loved, cared and supported, which we try to instil into our own parental style in the hope that our children will grow up having the right upbringing.

But truth be told we never really understood what our parents went through until we had become parents ourselves.

The sweat and tears, pain and dedication put in creating a safe and loving childhood. But the doubt never seems far away, questioning ourselves as parents.

The truth of parenting is a full time job with all the perks included. Never a dull moment.

But one thing has to be said. Please take it easy, don’t be hard on yourself. You’re doing your best even if you don’t see it.

The fact we are asking ourselves these questions means we care and will do our best for them. Which means ‘Yes we are good parents’. If there is any other indication that it is when they come to us saying “I love to the moon and back”.

BUT ONE THING HAS TO BE SAID. PLEASE TAKE IT EASY, DON’T BE HARD ON YOURSELF. YOU’RE DOING YOUR BEST EVEN IF YOU DON’T SEE IT