APPLE AND FEIJOA COBBLER
I love how nature simultaneously ripens fruit that pairs well together. Apple and feijoa are a case in point.
I suggest making a double batch of this simple yet hearty dessert, so you have some leftovers for breakfast.
Preparation time: 20 minutes Cooking time: 30 minutes Serves: 6
4 cooking apples, prepared as note below
75g soft butter
¼ cup sugar or 3 tablespoons honey
2 eggs
1 cup standard white flour, can use a gluten-free flour mix
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon ground ginger
½ teaspoon ground cardamom or mixed spice Pinch of salt
10-12 feijoas, flesh scooped
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Lightly grease a 20 x 25cm baking dish with butter.
Tip the stewed apples into the baking dish and cool a little while making the cobbler batter.
In a mixing bowl combine the butter and sugar, and cream together using the back of a wooden spoon. Add the eggs one at a time using a whisk to combine. Add half of the flour, baking powder, ginger, cardamom and salt, and use a spatula to fold together. Add the remaining flour, folding until just combined – don’t over mix. If the batter is dry, which can happen if using gluten-free flour, add one to two tablespoons milk to loosen.
Scatter the feijoa flesh over the cooked apples and dollop the cobbler batter over the fruit, leaving some pieces of fruit poking through.
Bake for 30 minutes until golden, checking that the batter is cooked through using a skewer. Serve warm with runny cream or natural yoghurt. Store leftovers in the fridge and eat within two days.
HOW I STEW APPLES
This method uses very little water, letting the apples steam and soften in their own juices, perfect for a cobbler as they still have some shape and structure.
Peel and core four (or more) apples and slice into thin wedges. Place in a small saucepan, add one tablespoon of water, cover with a lid and cook over a low heat for 10-15 minutes.
If I am using the cooked apples for a cobbler or crumble I try not to disturb the apple pieces during cooking and cook until just tender. Other times, I will stir several times during cooking until the apples are very soft, then mash them up with a fork. Spices can be added to the cooking apple pieces, such as three to four whole cloves or a cinnamon stick.
Nicola Galloway is a Nelson-based author and cooking tutor. Find more recipes on her website homegrown-kitchen.co.nz
Mother’s Day makes me want to cry,” my client said.
“I lost my mum to cancer when I was 16. We didn’t have a great relationship at the time – the whole mum-teenage girl thing – and the guilt and grief still gets to me,” she said.
“I’m jealous of friends who are close with their mums because I missed out. I have a good life but it’s a sadness I can never quite shake.”
These kinds of stories are common in therapy. For many, Mother’s Day is not the sentimental, pink-washed day that shows up on social media or calls to you with ads for flowers and chocolate.
Instead, it’s a trigger for complicated feelings – sadness for those who lost their mums too early; anger at toxic mothers who weren’t fit for duty, who left emotional wounds in children who, even as adults, remain desperate for their approval and love.
It can be a hurtful reminder for those denied the chance to be mothers; mothers who mourn lost or estranged children, or don’t have the close relationship they had hoped for. Will they even remember me on Mother’s Day?
Others, still, are nursing fresh grief – perhaps they’ve lost their adored mums recently and are struggling to adapt to the gap in their lives.
So it’s quite a package.
Therapists are used to it, the tenderness of these wounds.
We ask everyone about their family relationships – who they’re closest to and who hurt them
– and although “daddy issues” get more press, we hear an awful lot of “mummy issues”, complex feelings that cast a long, troubled shadow.
That’s because the motherchild bond is deep, arguably the bedrock connection of our lives. Mothers are a child’s earliest source of comfort, protection, and guidance. It’s a relationship that morphs and changes, but ultimately shapes who we are.
It’s also a job of challenging proportions. Beyond covering basic needs, mothers sign on to provide emotional support, be confidante, coach and counsellor, role model and purveyor of life lessons (even if many of them are ignored).
Then it’s to figure out how to step back as a child grows into independence – a person with their own beliefs, friends, interests, quirks and issues.
It’s not easy, because mothers are just people too, often with their own complicated mothering history. There is a lot of potential for clashes and conflicts, a lot of ways it can all go wrong.
So if Mother’s Day is tough for you – if it triggers tears or taps at old wounds – be assured that you are not alone. Far, far from it. Here are some things to think about.
REVISIT YOUR PAST (GENTLY)
Grief can catch us out even when life is good. Any events or dates that remind us of the mum we’ve lost (or are losing in the case of dementia) can trigger an emotional response
– her birthday, weddings, the birth of a child, anniversaries, Christmas. So can events that remind us of mother-related trauma.
It’s also common to grieve the relationship you didn’t have, for example if you lost your mother early in life or you had a mother who treated you poorly or was never emotionally there for you.
Take a moment to acknowledge the roots of your sadness, and all the feelings that have sprung from it – and be gentle with yourself.
BE HONEST WITH YOUR PEOPLE
Let your loved ones know how you’re feeling and plan the day and celebrations accordingly. The people who care about you will respect what you need.
TURN OF SOCIAL MEDIA
Social media sets unrealistic expectations about what should happen and how we should be/react. Mother’s Day is one of those occasions. If the flood of smiling photos is going to upset or annoy you, close the socials and ignore them.
JUST ANOTHER DAY IN YOUR LIFE
Mother’s Day can be a special celebration or just another day. Don’t try to keep everyone else happy. Just mark it in a way that feels meaningful – or even just okay –to you.
Finally, if you’ve had a wonderful mum, celebrate her or her memory. If you are a mum, celebrate yourself. But as you raise that glass, or hand over those flowers, spare a thought for those who haven’t been as lucky.
Karen Nimmo is a clinical psychologist