Want the nuclear option? Then go for the Crusher

Contemplating Judith Collins as National’s next leader must have some in the caucus shaking in their sensible mid-priced shoes.

If Judith Collins is the answer as National’s next leader then what the hell is the question again?

The great white hope wears her ambition with pride. Her philosophy: Why step over someone on the way down when you can kick them and chuckle at the same time. Maybe that’s harsh and, as strange as it sounds, there is a lot to like about Crusher.

Leaders must be liked and trusted by voters, but Collins is different. She brings anything but that level of warmth, she brings fear and an evil giggle to the table, amongst other traits.

If Labour worries about Collins becoming leader then I say pick her.

Question is this: Who can intimidate Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, get up in her grill, patronise, giggle, and mock her and possibly win the next election?

It’s as simple as ABC: Adams, Bridges or Collins? It may actually in the end be D, duh, none of the above, but National hates opposition – the born to rulers want out. If they want out, pick Collins.

Most of these Nats still believe they won the election anyway. It’s called entitlement.

So MPs have their hands hovering over the nuclear button labelled, ‘Crusher Collins’.

Yet, as is always the case with a secret ballot of 56 MPs, it’s unclear whether many hands are willing to push it because Judith Collins screams trouble.

Big, big, massive gigantic TROUBLE for both sides of the House.

Collins is by far the most risky of the candidates. More downside than up maybe, but MPs must be considering her.

I reckon she’s the only option if you want to lock in your base support and niggle the living stuffing out of your opponent. This Government was created for a mouthy and cocky opposition home-run hitter like Collins.

Risk could bring reward and a return to the treasury benches. Risk is good when you’re a loser, it worked for Labour – Jacinda Ardern couldn’t command a seat a year ago, now she owns property on the cover of every local women’s mag. How vogue.

Wannabe Amy Adams isn’t ready and speed-speaks in riddles. She wouldn’t answer a question I put to her this week on whether she’d pick tax cuts or health and education spending if faced with that choice. The public don’t want cute evasion, they want authentic honesty. Fail.

Bridges fancies himself but he looks like a secondhand car salesman who swallowed one of Tauranga’s finest kiwifruit that is yet to be digested. He’s actually funny and bright and good company but TV doesn’t show that yet – although it might.

National has only one option. Collins. If she wins – surprise. If she loses, she’s gone and the next leader might be PM.

The time is right for the Crusher to show us what she’s got. No one will die wondering and Collins will take someone out in a hail of bullets, perhaps herself even.

Under Collins her own political suicide beckons but so does oblivion under another candidate. National needs a hardman and it comes via a woman with the balls to say publicly what she really thinks.

Collins also offers a contrast to Ardern. The others offer the same without being as good. Ardern looks and is young. The others are young fogies trying to sound cool.

Politics is about winning – on that front National has nothing to lose. They already lost.

Judith Collins offers a contrast to Jacinda Ardern. The others offer the same without being as good.

So could Collins be leader and is she up to the job?

Yes and yes, if you want a screaming roller coaster with evil sound effects.

I wrote a piece about Collins a number of years ago saying her links to and behaviour around Chinese company Oravida were shady and she should resign.

Sure, she was disciplined by the then-prime minister John Key, but she went on to do a Winston; bide your time, hang around, rehabilitate yourself a bit, cause more acceptable trouble, and people have short memories.

And she’d be right. We forget, forgive and most barely care.

The time is right for Collins – it’s perfect actually. 2018 is all about the power of women. Collins versus Ardern – at least National would be in the game.

Is National bold and brave enough to do it? Not long now till we find out.