The season of good cheer – and sometimes of isolation

It’s that time of year again. A time for giving, and occasional swearing. A time for cheer and parties, but also elevated blood pressure and cholesterol. A time for community, but also a time of strange isolation.

Depending on how you view the Yuletide holiday season, either the most wonderful or the most depressing weeks of the calendar have arrived. There are also those lucky few who are mercifully ambivalent about the occasion.

While the shopping pressure might be reaching its crescendo, and family negotiations their most competitive, do not let yourself descend into a seasonal survival mode.

That heightened sense of urgency that seems to kick in from December 1 right through to Boxing Day – although sometimes right through to January 2 – can leave people more exhausted than when they began the Christmas break.

In the leadup to the world’s most famous home invader riding reindeer across the globe, let’s also keep an eye on our friends and colleagues, our mates and neighbours.

Maybe your friend has been through a hard breakup, or the death of a pet, or their family moved overseas and it’s their first Christmas alone in a while. Maybe they were laid off from their job last month, which isn’t quite in the Christmas leadup, but still close enough to be cruel.

Maybe they were a successful pop star who has been inexplicably burning their career to the ground with a series of increasingly outrageous statements.

You could have a friend who has been dealing with long Covid and is both frustrated and exhausted by the year.

Or a friend who was in a cafe, accidentally ordered three waters for the table, and was then frustrated and exhausted by a random diatribe from another customer who misheard them.

Perhaps your friend was incarcerated in Russia for eight months, got released in a prisoner swap, and then found out a whole bunch of their countrymen hated that idea.

Whatever situation your friends might find themselves in, now is the time to check in and make sure they’re doing OK. Don’t leave it till the Christmas week, as that can put its own kind of pressure on them. Instead, just make a little inquiry.

A text, or a phone call, or even just pop round if that’s how close you are. It will come across less as an act of Christmas charity, and more them doing you a favour, by keeping you out of the seasonal madness for a second.

December is a strange month for mental health. There is the great need to review the year, to evaluate our journey of the last 12 months, and give ourselves a grade. What did we accomplish? What did we fail at? Who won? Who lost? The Christmas break becomes this imagined recharging period before the great reset of goals that is New Year.

The reality is a mad dash to finish work projects, while balancing a mini shopping bonanza, with a constant soundtrack of songs that begin to become more oppressive the more stores you visit. The balancing act between enough Christmas mince pies to get through it all and so many you have to lie down is difficult.

This is not to say a massive ‘‘Bah humbug’’ to proceedings. There’s lots of joy, and crazy light shows, and good-but-bad-for-you food. Many annual ‘‘Convince your family to watch Die Hard’’ campaigns are under way. If you’re into football, then Morocco beating Spain has been heralded as the first Christmas miracle of 2022. Revelry abounds.

But not for everyone. So rather than treat them like Grinches or Scrooges, let’s get in early with a ‘‘How’s your end of year?’’, and not in a ‘‘Have some blooming Christmas cheer!’’ kind of way. The one thing about the annual December dash is that you can have some fun with it.

Go for a horrific-tasting themed coffee at a cafe you wouldn’t normally visit, and marvel at how the overworked staff aren’t screaming at everyone. Indulge in the strange seasonal baked goods from a pretentious deli while taking a walk in a park. Or just go see a film and enjoy violent clashes and loud noises that you’ve actually paid for.

Sometimes it isn’t just the catchup, but the timing of the catch-up that makes the difference. Friendship means not just finding time to be there for a friend, but finding time to let them be your friend too, and doing so in a way where they won’t end up feeling like a burden.

Finally, don’t forget to make that international call. Just because flights home are available doesn’t mean they’re suddenly affordable. Technology gives us the privilege to shrink distances in a way our parents could not, and nothing alleviates those diaspora pangs of longing like a friendly chat from home.

The Christmas break becomes this imagined recharging period before the great reset of goals that is New Year.