Gasps of horror as twice-cooked Cunliffe rises

It wasn’t the most auspicious location to launch a renewed bid for Labour’s leadership. David Cunliffe stood on a grassy knoll outside Pinky Girls Massage, which was decked out with a string of twinkling red fairy lights but — outside business hours — had its curtains tightly drawn.

It was oddly apt, given Cunliffe’s staggering conclusion that an end to his leadership was premature.

Cunliffe spent days furrowing his brow and sending emissaries to tell media he was seriously weighing up whether it was in the interests of the party for him to stay on as leader.

His caucus colleagues had started to relax a bit. But they forgot the indestructibility of Cunliffe’s self belief is akin to that of a cockroach — it would survive a nuclear bomb.

He decided he was indeed in the best interests of the party. So straight after saying he was resigning in a belated show of responsibility for the election result, the sighs of relief from the majority of his colleagues turned into gasps of horror when he added that he would also rise again.

Caucus must now wrestle with the possibility he will again be leader. There is little doubt he will have the support of only a few. There is rage about the damage he has done by prevaricating for so long.

But his enemies didn’t help the situation. Supporters of Grant Robertson were in danger of overplaying their hand by overt attempts to install Robertson uncontested, with Jacinda Ardern as his deputy.

That push was getting the backs up of those erstwhile Cunliffe supporters who had just acknowledged Cunliffe was not best for the party. It also failed to recognise that not all the ABCs are in Robertson’s camp — in fact, some have serious concerns about his wider appeal. Watching someone trying to get anointed by going over their heads was certainly riling up some members.

Cunliffe played to that wider membership yesterday by saying he believed there should at least be a contest and it was appropriate for them to have a say.

But his apparent belief that he will be able to control the Caucus in future is completely misplaced.

They went to great lengths to show they were not undermining him over the last year. But so visceral has the sentiment become that there are those preaching a total extermination message claiming he has to leave Parliament altogether.

There is a fourth party in all this: the actual voters who have only just had their say on Cunliffe and clearly found him not to their liking. Cunliffe appears certain he can persuade them that a twice-cooked Cunliffe is much tastier.