The disabling effects of ableism

ABLEISM is a term that is seldom used in domestic narratives on disability but a topic that is always talked about and widely discussed. It is not in the lexicon of most disability rights advocates here even though this is the one word that fully defines our collective negative experiences.

To put it simply, ableism is the discrimination and prejudice against disabled people with the prerequisite one must be ‘ able’ to fit into society. Impairments are considered defects that have to be fixed in order to make disabled people ‘ normal’ again. This is the dominant and prevalent way of thinking where being ‘ able- bodied’ is the norm. Consequently, society is constructed to serve the needs of these ‘ able- bodied’ people and leave out those with impairments.

Ableism includes the use of inappropriate words, discrimination in education and employment, refusal of service, omission of accessible facilities and basically every situation where the needs of disabled people are not considered and taken into account, and where disabled people are treated unequally and disrespectfully as compared to non- disabled people. Even the act of providing more support to productive disabled people over others who are less productive is considered a form of ableism.

The ableist is a person who subscribes to the ideals and notions of ableism. People can become ableist intentionally or unintentionally. Wellintentioned family members, friends, colleagues and even strangers can unknowingly employ ableist attitudes while giving motivation and encouragement with words like, “You should exercise hard so you can walk again and your life will become much easier.”

Being in a wheelchair, I get approached by people with such mind- set on a regular basis. Two incidents that happened to me recently exemplify this attitude.

The first one happened after we attended a talk featuring a newly- designed wheelchair. A young man approached my wife while we were browsing at a book sale. I thought it was incredibly odd of him to ask for her thoughts about the wheelchair. He wanted to canvass her opinion “as a user or having a family member who uses one”.

She is not a wheelchair user and was not in the best position to given an opinion on that. She told him so. Even after that, he did not bother to pose the same question to me although I was just beside her. It was as if I was invisible or not worth his effort to engage me directly.

This is commonly known as the “does she take sugar?” attitude. The companion or caregiver is asked to speak and decide on our behalf in our presence. This ignoring of the disabled person right in the face is not only insolent and insulting. It is an affront to our dignity as human beings.

The other incident happened when I was at the hospital for a scheduled medical check- up. While I was waiting for my wife to collect my medicine from the pharmacy, I found a cosy corner and parked myself there.

A middle-aged lady who was walking past smiled at me and then doubled back. Before I could react, she started telling me of a man with severe stroke who had recovered swiftly after taking alternative medicine.

“You can try,” she said to me and at the same time fished out a business card from her wallet and extended it to me.

Without even looking at the card, I told her I am not considering alternative medicine. She was slightly taken aback, said it was all right and walked away. Perhaps she was being kind and wanted to help. But such people should stop seeing wheelchair users as needing treatments or cures to walk again. That was a clear- cut case of ableism at work.

Having said that, many disabled people have internalised ableism without realising it. They readily accept their impairments as the prime cause of the problems they and their family are experiencing. I have to admit that I am guilty of unknowingly harbouring ableist thoughts like this myself. This was pointed out to me by a friend who reads this column from time to time.

Stephen Feldman and I got acquainted in a spinal cord injury discussion forum. He is from the USA and is currently based in Los Angeles, California. We chat occasionally over Facebook Messenger. He had read the piece I wrote about my failing health and becoming a burden to my wife.

He left a comment to admonish me for my choice of using the word ‘ burden’ to describe my increasing dependence on my wife. I told him I used that particular word because of what my wife has to do for me on top of the personal tasks she has to do for herself and the household.

“Everyone with a disability falls somewhere on the ‘ burden’ spectrum,” he said. “And for those of us with acquired disabilities, our internalised ableism is ready to brand us as burdens.”

“If disability is part of the natural human condition – and it is – then caring, helping and assisting disabled people should also be part of the natural human condition and not an opportunity for us to feel less whole and vital.”

What he said is true. We are conditioned to think our dependence on the people around us for support as a liability and charity we are not worthy of. I am glad to have him point this out to me. And I appreciate the deep conversations we always have, although I dislike having to think hard and long afterwards to unravel the wisdom and make sense of our exchanges.

At its worst, ableism can lead society down the path of eugenics and euthanasia because impairments are seen as a deviation from the norm, the lives of disabled people are regarded as less worthy. In such a scenario, the non- existent social support to live and subsist make it extremely difficult to survive.

Therefore, as a society and even as disabled people, we need to take stock of our attitude towards disability and whether our practices and deeds, be they at work or social settings, are ableist in nature.

Ableism is elitist and has no place in society where diversity and differences are not only accepted and celebrated but are a way of life. And for those of us working in the field of disability rights advocacy, it is our responsibility to create more awareness of the devastating effects of ableism in the lives of disabled people by including this topic in all our public and private discourses.