Jimmy Kimmel’s Emmy monologue goes after Trump, Marcia Clark
JIMMY Kimmel’s monologue on Sunday night was surprisingly mild -- but he did take the an actress over 50 who needs a part, so they went to Louie.
“This year’s nominees are the most diverse ever. And here in Hollywood, the only thing we value more than diversity is congratulating ourselves on how much we value diversity.”
“The Emmys are so diverse this year, the Oscars are now telling people we’re one of their closest friends. We’re not, by the way.” — Donald Trump: “If it wasn’t for television, would Donald Trump be running for president? No. He would be at home right now, quietly rubbing up against his wife, Malaria, while she pretends to be asleep.” — Mark Burnett: “Many have asked, who is to blame for Donald Trump, the Donald Trump phenomenon? And I’ll tell you who, because he’s sitting right there. That’s right, that guy. Mark Burnett, the man who brought us ‘Celebrity Apprentice.’ Thanks to Mark Burnett, we don’t have to watch reality shows anymore, because we’re living in one. Thank you, Mark. Thank you for coming all the way from England to tear us all apart with your intricate plot -- it worked. You sneaky little crumpetmuncher, you. Who do you have lined up to fill the spot on the Supreme Court, Miley Cyrus or Cee Lo?”
“I’m going on the record right now: He’s responsible. If Donald Trump gets elected, and he builds that wall, the first person we’re throwing over it is Mark Burnett. The tribe has spoken.” — Maggie Smith: “If you don’t know, Maggie Smith, she’s been nominated for the Emmy nine times, she’s won the Emmy three times. How many times do you think she’s shown up here to get the Emmy? That’s right, no times. — WPBloomberg