I want to marry my cousin

Dear Pastor, I am an avid reader of your column, and I am having a problem that I would love to have you help me solve.

I am a second-year student at a university. I have fallen in love with one of the female students.

Things had been going well between us until I became aware that we might be cousins. Since that time, I have been very worried because I don’t want to lose her.

She doesn’t want us to break up either, but at the same time, she says if we are cousins, whether ‘near cousins’ or ‘far cousins’, we should wish each other goodbye and forget that we ever knew each other.

Right now, it appears that that is what may happen between us because when we look at the family tree and trace the family line, it appears that we are cousins indeed.

This is a girl who gave me her virginity. The things I have done with her, I have not done with any other girl.

When we first became aware that we might be related, I asked my father what he would do, and he told me he would not marry such a girl.

He went to the book of Leviticus in the Bible to show me why relatives should not get involved with each other.

If we did not plan to have children, we wouldn’t let that bother us, but we do want to have children after we leave university. We are too young to say that we don’t want a family.

I am related to her on my father’s side. Sometimes I say to myself that I should try to convince her to marry me. However, we wouldn’t have children.

If we need children, we can adopt. If we did not come to know some of our relatives, it wouldn’t have been bothering me so much.

But now that we are together, we have strong relatives on both sides. What do you suggest that we do?

O.B.

It was also given to maintain high standards among the Jews. Persons who disobeyed the Lord were condemned.

Your father referred you to the Book of Leviticus. You should read what it says, but you should not feel that if you and this young woman get married, you have done anything immoral because I gather from what you have written that she is not your close relative.

I suggest that you discuss this matter with other relatives and get their opinion. Perhaps you may even consider spending some time with family counsellor on this matter.

Pastor