Roy is trouble, big trouble — exactly what Irish football needs
God help Irish football. Few football fans will be fired up by the prospect of our clash with Hungary at the Aviva on Tuesday evening. Hungary stand 26th in the world rankings. We are 60th.
Ireland enter another tame friendly with an interim manager, an interim chief executive and without key players or much hope.
Absentees include the injured Gavin Bazunu, Evan Ferguson, Chiedozie Ogbene and Nathan Collins. We are scratching around, seeking weak opponents because we cannot qualify for grown-up competitions.
What is going on in Irish football? While the IRFU marches from strength to strength, the FAI is being humiliated. The contrasting fortunes — both financial and on the playing field — of the two sports bodies that share the Aviva Stadium is sobering.
Ever since my recent spell as sport minister, I have been to all the home matches of both codes. At one, the expectation of victory is overwhelming. At the other, the anticipation of defeat is rarely disappointed.
May was another bad month for the FAI. Six months after the exit of manager Stephen Kenny, there is no sign of a replacement. Virtually no one wants to touch the job, except for a few anonymous no-hopers who cannot land even mediocre positions elsewhere.
On Tuesday, Damien Duff, manager of Shelbourne, currently top of the League of Ireland Premier Division, let the FAI have it with both barrels.
He condemned its shabby treatment of Ireland’s interim manager, John O’Shea, lashing out at them for again only offering O’Shea the caretaker job for the upcoming Hungary and Portugal games.
“If I was him, I wouldn’t have taken it a second time,” thundered Duff. “He has been left out to dry. We used to be a footballing power — we are not any more.”
On Wednesday, he poured scorn on the suggestion that he himself should coach the national team, claiming that it “would drive me insane. I had eight or nine months with Stephen [Kenny]. You are in an office every day, just pottering around”.
Duff is relishing his spell at Shelbourne. He is right. While club football remains the stuff of magic, the FAI is toxic. He is flourishing at Shelbourne while the FAI is a basket case. The national association cannot afford a package that would attract a good manager. And last month, in a fresh scandal, it lost its chief executive, Jonathan Hill.
Worse still, managers are not alone in shunning the discredited FAI, players too are looking elsewhere.
Just last Thursday, it was reported that Wolverhampton Wanderers striker Nathan Fraser turned down a callup to the Ireland U-21 squad.
His refusal is just another from a string of potential Irish players who were offered the chance of togging out for Ireland but preferred the appeal of the English jersey.
Yet, just a few months ago, Roy Keane threw his hat into the ring for the Irish manager’s job. Keane’s intervention — from as controversial a footballer as ever walked the planet — did not prompt celebration at
FAI headquarters. The rumour that the talks never really left the starting gates, as Roy was too expensive, is probably near the mark.
However there is an alternative, more positive, narrative: Roy is trouble, big trouble, far bigger than any other name in the frame. So instead of taking Roy’s arm off, the FAI looked the other way. Mediocrity was fine. They had O’Shea in their back pocket.
What would happen if the FAI was to grasp the nettle, find the funds and offer Roy Keane the manager’s job? There would be blue murder.
The ghosts of Saipan and Sunderland would be resurrected. There would be resignations at the FAI. Loudmouths and score-settlers from the past would emerge from under their rocks to recall the wrongdoings of Roy. Sins he committed during his Manchester United glory days would be remembered. His wife, his five children, his dog, his gaffes and his arrogance would come under the media microscope. The tabloids would run amok. Sounds good. And the numbers at Ireland’s home games would rocket.
Roy is box office. Football is big business. Sponsorship could take off. Money could flow in. He would be a brooding presence at every game.
Wherever Roy goes, there is action off-stage. He is passionate, impulsive and unpredictable. Last week he was in court after a scrap at an Arsenal vs Manchester United game.
Imagine the man who attracts hundreds of thousands of viewers to Sky appearing on Ireland’s airwaves after every game to defend his defeats or bask in victory. He would take swipes at opposition managers, make jokes in bad taste and inevitably receive the odd touchline ban.
Just what Irish football needs.
As a player, Roy was unmatched in Ireland’s pantheon of heroes but as a manager he is often denigrated.
He managed Sunderland out of the Championship into the English Premier League. His time at Ipswich was not successful but his days as assistant Irish manager under Martin O’Neill saw some glorious moments. He was in the job when Ireland beat Italy 1-0 at Lille, taking us into the last 16 of the Euros in 2016.
He could always take a solid operator as his number two. But Roy would add magic to Irish football, which is currently deadly dull, lacking in personalities and stumbling from one disaster to another. Football is more than a game — it is soap opera. It needs larger-than- life characters, flawed human beings, faces familiar to the public. Popular interest would be mobilised. Down that road sponsorship, public support and government funding follows.
Football needs its bad boys.
George Best was a Manchester United genius, going missing after drinking benders. Compelling stories emerged in the media — tragic and humorous. Wayne Rooney and Jamie Vardy’s wives, Coleen and Rebekah, were back in court last week, slugging it out over costs for the sensational but unmissable Wagatha Christie case. Irish football probably doesn’t need its Vardy or its Rooney spouses yet but an injection of expertise, government money and showbusiness would restore a wave of confidence and excitement to the Aviva.
Keane would make a good start.
Yes, there would be blue murder if Keane was offered the manager’s job. But the numbers at Ireland matches would rocket