Try my hand at the panto? Oh yes, I did – but my ‘Beauty and the Beast’ audition wasn’t a happy-ever-after

My experience of pandemic ukulele playing or dancing in Coppers didn’t give me an edge, says Amy Donohoe

Sammy Sausages and Buffy have been entertaining families for more than 25 years at the Stadium Panto. It’s a tradition for many Dublin families to go and see it each Christmas. So it may only be June but when I heard they were doing open auditions, it was something I couldn’t say no to.

Alan Hughes and Karl Broderick make dreams come true for performers and I knew it was my time to shine. I can’t sing, dance or act but I was confident I could entertain the judges at the auditions for Beauty and the Beast, a Sammy and Buffy adventure.

Their panto productions have given many famous faces their first panto role including the likes of Brian Dowling, Marty Morrissey, Pippa O’Connor, Joe Duffy, Una Healy and Mary Byrne.

I thought I’d throw my hat into the ring of musical comedy which is filled with sparkles, jokes, audience involvement and dancing.

Glitter, glamour and giggles awaited, I thought, as I geared myself up to trade my life at Independent House on Talbot Street for the big stage.

I woke up on the morning of rehearsals ready to swap my newspaper byline for a theatrical name in lights, but I quickly realised I couldn’t perform the songs I had chosen the night before.

Unsure of the lyrics and unable to hit the high notes, it was a shaky start. However, after two hours of singing songs while shuffling on Spotify, I found the perfect one that could get the crowd going.

Before leaving, I took three shots of ginger and chilli tonic in the hopes that it would help warm up my vocal cords.

It didn’t help. I felt like a lost cause, but it was too late to back out. I watched a few of the Belle auditionees before I went on. They sang like real-life Disney princesses. I didn’t get the memo to pick a Disney song but after rehearsing World of Our Own by Westlife in my bedroom without my voice cracking any windows or the neighbours calling the gardaí to report the scary singing noises next door, I was prepared to give it socks and add a bit of welly too (considering my Cavan roots).

I gave the judges my CV which included details of my first leading role, Mary in the Nativity play when I was in first class. Other experiences included playing the ukulele for one day during the pandemic, dancing in Copper Face Jacks and witnessing my nana singing in the church choir.

When I opened my mouth and started to sing, that’s the moment I realised how bad I was.

However, the show must go on, as they say. I included the names of the judges in the songs and it helped me stand out. And, as bad as it was, they loved it.

I had them singing along and waving their arms. The days of playing SingStar on the PlayStation 2 really paid off.

Although I was told I may not be a fit for the part of Belle, I was told there was a possibility of playing a fairy. They saw potential.

Alan Hughes, the Simon Cowell of Irish pantos, told me they’d let me know. The leading lady role wasn’t for me, but at least there’s a shot of me playing a tree – or maybe I might just stick to the day job.

The Stadium Panto will run at Dublin’s National Stadium from December 10 to January 5, and if I’m not in the show, I’ll be definitely sitting in the front row singing along – then again, maybe I’ll just mime.

‘I had them singing along and waving their arms. The days of playing SingStar on the PlayStation 2 really paid off ’