NOT EVEN COVID COULD STOP ME TYING THE KNOT
COUPLES getting married have had to make one big decision after another over the last year and not just about which flowers they like. The choice of whether to delay their nuptials or pull the trigger on a more intimate affair with a handful of family and friends is one many couples have faced in the past 12 months. Journalist Mary Burke-Milton and her new husband Barry Milton, both 37, decided to tie the knot in January after previously postponing their wedding plans last year. Today, New Jersey native Mary – who settled in Ireland in 2011 – writes about why tying the knot with Dublin Barry in secret during lockdown was perfect for them both.
AMONTH on and I still have no regrets about my pandemic wedding – it was a cold, crazy and beautiful day. Like so many couples across the country, the day my husband and I planned for didn’t go the way we had hoped.
Barry and I got engaged on May 26, 2018, just a day after moving into our new home. We knew it would be a while for us to actually tie the knot as we planned on paying for it ourselves and needed to save.
We also wanted to give my family and friends in the US time to organise their trip.
September 5, 2020 was going to be our day, but Covid-19 had other plans. In June of last year, we made the decision to postpone.
As the country went in and out of lockdown, we talked about eloping, but it was something I wouldn’t have done even before Covid. The thought of getting married without our families present left me fearing the enormous levels of Irish mammy guilt.
Over Christmas, my dad became unwell and I went back to New Jersey to be with my family. The whirlwind events of the year made me rethink everything.
Barry and I separately sat down with our parents and discussed the possibility of us going ahead with just a few guests. Even my godfather told me to just get on with it.
Hearing the encouragement from him and especially my mother helped change my mind. When I returned to Dublin in January, I reached out to the registrar.
We thought that it could be months before we got a date, but boy, were we wrong!
On a Tuesday afternoon we got a phone call to confirm our request to get married in the registry office. She told us the waiting list was so long we wouldn’t be able to get married in Dublin until June, but we could tie the knot in Bray, Co. Wicklow, quicker. She offered us a slot that Friday but I was still in quarantine after my travels, so January 29, 2021, at 12.30pm, became our new wedding day. We couldn’t believe it. We had two weeks to plan.
With Level 5 restrictions still in place, we were only allowed to have ten people attending. We asked six of our friends to join us and kept the ceremony a secret from our families.
The ceremony was quick, but joyous. We walked to the beach afterwards, feeling like celebrities as people stopped to congratulate us. One gentleman kindly said: ‘It’s lovely to see some happy news, for a change. Congratulations to you both!’
After a few pictures on the beach and a cheeky glass of champagne, we set off to surprise Barry’s parents.
Next, we let my family know. We organised for a cake to be delivered with a simple message: ‘Surprise! We got married!’
The day was definitely not what I had intended, but given the pandemic situation, I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.