Ireland’s best beaches? Just throw a dart at a map and you’ll hit one!
MY parents met on beach No.9 of TripAdvisor’s list of the ten best beaches in Ireland.
As its name suggests, Ladies Beach in Ballybunion was once segregated, with gentlemen obliged to swim on the (almost equally glorious) stretch of beach just around the Castle Green headland. My dad and his Macroom cohorts were on holidays there, testing the waters and the talent by swimming round the rocky outcrop and firing beach balls onto Ladies Beach.
Family legend has it that my then 19year-old mother, down from Dublin with her work colleagues, was hit by one of those rogue beach calls. My dad came ashore to retrieve it and the rest is history and a perfect Irish beach story. The best part of it – the bit you’d probably leave out if you were making it into a film – is that the previous day, my dad had lost his dentures diving into the north Kerry surf. They were never found, and so my Dublin mother fell in love with a completely toothless Corkman on a beach in Kerry. And that’s only number nine.
Running through the list of the top ten beaches, I’m delighted to find that I’ve been on every one on the list. Cycling the Wild Atlantic Way will do that for you. But what’s even more satisfying is that you could throw out the entire top ten and do up another, and nobody could have any complaints. I have been on glorious beaches in Galway, Mayo and Donegal that haven’t made the cut, while on this side of the island, there are stretches in Wexford and Wicklow that could make a strong case for inclusion on any list of perfect beaches. The happy conclusion must be that when it comes to beaches, we are spoilt for choice in this country.
But what, I wonder, where the TripAdvisor judges looking for? I note that eight of the top ten beaches boast a thriving surfing community, and so big waves must rate highly on their score cards. But while I enjoy flinging myself at walls of water as much as the next land-based mammal, I also like to be able to swim a good distance without being rolled along the sea bed. So there is a lot to be said for gentle waves – especially if you’re wading in with small children. As for dogs, I think the best time mine ever had in the sea was on Valentia Island, which boasted a sort of medium swell.
Personally, I love dogs on beaches – but I know they won’t make everyone’s day out. I adore the way they go slightly mad on a surface they can’t quite get to grips with and in water they can’t drink. I like friendly, sandy, wet dogs running onto our blanket (which is an old curtain; you have to think big where family beach trips are concerned) and trying to eat our sausages, which must be cooked on the beach, before being stuffed into white bread rolls and slathered in ketchup.
Now: sand. It needs to be firm enough for sandcastles, dry enough for the blanket and fine enough not to hurt small feet. To this end, I favour beaches that are never totally immersed by the incoming tide, with a sturdy foreshore that can be totally transformed with a bucket and spade. In our ambitious, artistic family, we like to think even bigger – and almost every small child has put in time sitting in the ‘driving seat’ of a speedboat or a racing car made from sand.
TIDAL rock pools are good, especially ones where sand eels suddenly squeeze through small bare toes and frighten the life out of all present, until the shrieks of horror turn to tears of laughter. Seaweed? Just enough to throw at your siblings, or to make the hair (head and body) on the naked woman your brother fashions in the sand just moments before his old teacher walks past. I don’t like shops on or anywhere near beaches – one of the most striking aspects of our coastline is how commercially undeveloped it is, especially compared to other countries; when I’m lying on the beach, erosion and shifting sands notwithstanding, I want to enjoy the same view as my grandparents might have done. This might mean sacrificing an ice cream, but you can always get one on the way home.
And the weather? Actually, it doesn’t really matter. We have spent hours on the beach when we’re on holidays in Kerry without ever glimpsing the sun. I have idled away many afternoons wrapped in a fleece and a blanket facing out to the Atlantic with only a Kindle for company, happy out. Of course, the sun is a welcome bonus – and I absolutely refuse to swim without it – but Irish beaches are beautiful whatever the weather and we are absolutely blessed with the abundance of them.
As to the best? I retain a soft spot for Ballybunion, scene of the original crime and site of my childhood holidays. I love Brittas Bay for its memories of pungent egg-and-onion sandwiches and the torture of having to wait an hour after eating them before swimming. Béal Bán, beyond Ballyferriter in Co. Kerry, where my children grew up and my little nieces now occupy the driving seat of the speedboats. But that’s just me, and everyone lucky enough to live on this island will have their own memories, their own spaces, their own blankets. The best beach in Ireland? With all due respect to TripAdvisor, it’s your one.