THE THAI LIFE
A sumptuous villa, a swim in the inviting azure sea and Thai boxing. It’s...
I’VE been saving the best for last. Last week I was staying in a hut on a beach with a barely working fan and very little else. But for the last couple of days of my three-week trip to Thailand I will be living it up in the sumptous Samujana Villas on Koh Samui.
But first, my journey here. I found myself jumping from one wifi spot to another on the day it took to get from Ko Tao to Samui and in the fray I forgot to check my emails and tell the staff the time I would be at the port.
It being a small island I figured everyone would know where/what Samujana is. Not so. After some haggling I get a lift for 500 baht on a rickety scrambler, all my luggage and me on the back completely trusting that my guy knew where he was going.
We’re driving up dirt tracks while he stops and asks locals where Samujana is. After a few dead-ends I spot some villas in the distance that match the pictures I was sent. I have arrived.
But not at the actual entrance unfortunately.
I hop over a fence with my bag looking for the reception area, all the time sweating profusely as I haul myself uphill.
Finding what looks like an outdoor office I drop said bag and catch my breath on a couch when the receptionist appears and asks my name. A brief conversation later I’m in the back of a car (air-conditioned thankfully) on the way to my villa.
NOK, the villa manager welcomes me. She is about 5ft tall and my backpack is about the same. Without a word she hoists it up and brings it inside ignoring my protestation to carry it myself.
I’m shown to my room first, which is
bigger than my whole apartment in Dublin, complete with two bathrooms and a massage bed. Nok shows me around the rest of the villa which takes a good 20 minutes. Vast doesn’t cover it.
After a ‘welcome’ cocktail and an hour or two to get clean and gather myself, I’m introduced to Chang, my chef for the length of my stay. He tells me dinner is in half an hour so I settle down for a beer and take in the view on one of the many loungers beside the infinity pool.
When dinner is served I’m treated to a starter of fresh king prawns. The main course is a Pad thai like I’ve never seen or tasted. And by the time dessert arrives I am so full I can only manage a thumbsup and a pretty feeble wai (Thai greeting).
The next morning Chang initiates me in the art of Thai cooking. I will be the first to admit I’m not much good in the kitchen so I’m up for some tips from a master chef.
Chang though finds it all too funny and laughs away to himself while I pick up the razor-sharp knives, looking uncomfortable to say the least.
We’re making (Thai Tom Yum Soup. While he shows me what to do and how to chop each ingredient I lose concentration and chop off what feels like the whole top of my index finger. Panic stations! It turns out to be a bit of my nail and more blood than anyone in the room is comfortable with. While I’m cleaning up my my finger, Kurt the General Manager pops in to say hello and welcome. Perfect timing.
He initially looks shocked, then relieved when he realises everything’s cool.
Kurt gives me a brief overview of the place and tells me Fabio, the resort manager, will give me the full tour of Samujana the next day. Kurt leaves and Chang then shows me the proper way to chop – a lesson that will stick with me forever. (The food I made was actually pretty good!) Koh Samui is a built-up island and I’m eager to see the town. I rent a scooter nearby and take to the (I’m The gloves are off: Padraig and Kriss told) fairly lawless roads. I’m new to motorbikes, but I reckon that if I can survive cycling in Dublin I can handle a scooter where there are little or no traffic lights in Asia. It made sense at the time.
Where Samujana is situated is far enough from the noise of the town, but close enough that a 15-minute bike ride gets you into the centre of things.
On arrival it appears to be a pretty standard mix of restaurants, bars and touristy shops.
I’m underwhelmed though after hearing so much about the district. Aside from a few vans around the streets advertising tonight’s Muay Thai fight – by blaring heavy metal and announcing the contenders – I’m bored and unimpressed. But more later.
I drive aimlessly for a few hours, and after a few close calls, I’m back at the villa and ready to go on a sunset cruise on the Kindred Spirit, Samujana’s catamaran.
Fabio collects me and a Danish family from the villa next door and we head for Fisherman’s Village in a blissfully air-conditioned SUV. I make a mental note to myself to come back here, the buzz around is more relaxed and it’s not so touristy.
On the Kindred Spirit we sail out from the north of the island west, to where we have a view of Samujana from the sea. What I have been looking at while eating dinner and breakfast is where we are, and all I can think is ‘I can see my house from here’.
I hear a splash and see that Fabio is first in the water. Everyone else follows suit. I leave all of my earthly belongings – my phone wallet and cigarettes – on the table and execute a pretty poor dive into the deep.
There is something very special about lying in deep water, facing the multicoloured sky and forgetting about everything. The water is warm, it’s silent, you feel like you could stay there forever...
But we can’t, it’s getting dark. We all climb back on board, drink beers and eat chicken wings and chew the fat.
The next morning Fabio arrives (in a much needed air-con SUV) for a tour of Samujana. I’m groggy from booze, but in this heat – and a full Irish/English breakfast courtesy of Chang – feeling relatively OK.
I’m shown around the biggest villa in the development. There’s several pools and chilling areas. There is beautiful art on the walls and a cinema that seats 20+ people with posters signed by the directors and actors with the Dark Knight one especially catching my eye.
In the same villa I’m shown a million-dollar gym where a world
contender boxer is being trained though I never get to find out who. It will never be me as I find out after an introduction to Muay Thai boxing.
Kriss TalingNgam, a Swedish fighter struts in, one eye dark red and pretty damaged looking. Kriss doesn’t talk much although I only have one question: ‘am I about to get my ass kicked?’.
‘Only if you want to’ comes the reply. He’s smiling slightly.
He gloves me up and we start. The afternoon sun has me weak already and the gloves aren’t helping. I’m slow starting and he lets me know everytime I’ve left myself open to a knockout, but thankfully only taps the spot. Half an hour later Kriss has taught me how to throw two solid punches and an elbow inside a second. Not bad going for someone who hasn’t been in a fight since school. Leaving Samujana I can’t help but feel it was all too quick. I arrive at the tiny airport on Samui, dreading going home but happy knowing these places exist. Outside the airport I sit down to smoke and chat with some other stragglers. A Frenchman is sitting with the rest drinking Jameson (it’s 11am) straight from the bottle. He offers some around and everyone refuses. Except me. We cheers, and I board the plane already planning the next trip in my head. I probably won’t be staying anywhere as classy as Samujana but I can always hope.